Judging Books
by Savage7289
Summary: Debutante Bella is planning to follow Dad's footsteps. A chance meeting at a stop light with a beautiful boy on a bicycle gives her a new outlook on life.  Is she willing to risk living life to the fullest with this fascinating, but damaged, young man?
1. Realizations

**Judging Books**

**Summary: **Bella's on the debutante track to life in the financial world, just as her Dad has always planned. A chance meeting at a stop light with a beautiful boy on a bicycle gives her a new outlook on life. Can she forego the family dynasty and live life to the fullest with this fascinating, but damaged, young man? M for language/lemons.

This story is for **Mariamaral & StAngelS**, who won the Carlisle, Bella and the Banana Contest. This is the plot bunny they concocted for me to write as part of their prize. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I've gotten a little carried away. I expect it to be about three chapters. Enjoy!

**Thank you DK for the beta reading!  
**

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just piddling in her pool.

* * *

**Chapter One – Realizations**

Damn these heels.

I walked as quickly as I could, given the three inch stilettos Lauren forced onto my feet this morning. I mean, seriously? It's not like this is the sort of job interview where you don't know if you are going to end up with the position. I mean, when your father already owns the company, chances of you getting the CFO job once you graduate with your accounting degree is really pretty good. It definitely was not worth having to walk from the subway all the way to the office building. I should have called a cab, but it was only a twenty minute walk, and hailing a taxi usually took a half hour.

"Holy shit, she is fuckhawt."

I didn't even look over at the group of boys on the corner. There always seemed to be a group of such kids around in every city. Tattoos, piercings everywhere, chain smoking and generally looking like they exist just to piss off their parents. Usually they were on skateboards, though this group seemed to prefer BMX bicycles.

Of course, the light changed right at that moment, and I was stuck standing next to them, waiting for the walk signal. I refused to look over in their direction, though I could still hear them talking and trying to get my attention. I ignored them and stared straight ahead at the red hand denying me access to the other side of the road. I wondered if there might be a proverbial chicken nearby, so I could staple myself to it.

"Hey," a soft voice said beside me. I startled. I hadn't even heard him come up, but when I looked to my right, one of the boys was right next to me.

He was standing up on the bicycle with one wheel high up in the air, balancing on the pedals as easily as if he was standing on the ground. He was wearing a faded pair of ripped up jeans, with one pant-leg completely missing, making the garment a half pair of shorts. His shirt was also faded, with the logo of some metal band on the front.

When I looked up into his face, I was surprised to see he was a little older than I had originally assumed. I always figured groups of boys hanging out on the corner ranged from about fourteen to sixteen, but this one had to be out of high school. He had a couple of days' worth of stubble covering his cheeks and neck, unruly, brownish-red hair and intense, bright green eyes. His full bottom lip was adorned with a pair of thin silver hoops through the left side, and a matching hoop went through his eyebrow. Three more hung from the lobe of his right ear. There was some dark, swirling tattoo wrapping around his left arm, and something more colorful just peeking out of the collar of his T-shirt, but I couldn't make out the details of either design. There was a thin gold chain around his neck, the front of which was tucked into his shirt with the chain pulled tight at the front, the lump of a charm of some sort hiding underneath the fabric.

"Would you go to dinner with me?"

"Excuse me?" There was no way I had heard him right. I mean – guys with piercings and tattoos didn't walk up to women wearing suits and heels to ask them out for dinner.

"See, you're really, really pretty," he shrugged, twisting his hips a little and making the bicycle spin in a full circle before facing me again. "And my buddy Emmett says if you're pretty on the outside, you're probably ugly on the inside. I just want to see if he's right."

I stared unabashed at him.

"I don't think he's right," the boy clarified. "I know a great place to eat, and it would be perfect for you."

"Perfect for me?" I heard myself echo.

"I think you'd like to go someplace where you aren't expected to wear those kinds of shoes."

"What?"

"You don't like wearing them," he said, shrugging and swiveling the bike again.

"How do you know that?" I asked, unable to keep the surprise from my voice.

"The way you kept looking at them. I was actually waiting for you to tell them to fuck off or something." He laughed. "I mean, you look at them like you hate them. Like, maybe the heels impaled your dog on your birthday or something."

I heard a chime and looked across at the "don't walk" sign and realized I had just missed my opportunity to get across the street.

"Damnit!" I mumbled. I turned back to him. "Look, I'm sorry, but I'm really in a hurry, and I don't have time for this right now."

"Why are you in a hurry?"

"I have a job interview, and it starts in ten minutes," I said, wondering why I was even telling him these things. "And I am willing to admit these shoes aren't helping me get there on time."

"You wanna ride?"

"What?"

"I'll give you a ride," he said. "Then you wouldn't be late, and your feet wouldn't hurt."

"You have a car?" I asked, stupidly. I knew he didn't have a car around here. There wasn't even a parking garage within six blocks.

He laughed.

"On my bike, goofball." Half his mouth turned up in the most incredible smile I had ever seen in my life. Granted, lots of people have nice smiles. Lots of guys have those "panty dropping" looks that make you want to place them on a stage in front of a microphone just so you can throw your undergarments at them. Most popular actors have one of those looks, but I had never seen a smile quite like this one.

Aside from the luscious curling of half of his perfectly formed lips, his smile didn't just light up his eyes, like any good genuine smile will do; it lit up his whole face. He positively glowed as he tilted his head slightly to one side and looked at me with one eyebrow cocked. I could have sworn the sun even peeked out from behind a cloud at that point and lit up his hair as well.

His tongue popped out of his mouth and fiddled with the rings imbedded in his lip and he glanced down at the sidewalk for a moment before looking back up at me. The combined gestures gave him an odd combination of both cocky and shy all at the same time. Can looks be ambivalent?

"There's only one seat on the bike," I heard myself say.

"You can have it," he said. He leaned back and the bike dropped from its perpetual wheelie right next to my feet. He continued to stand on a pair of pedals attached to the rear wheel. "I don't need the seat."

I looked at the bike, then back to that incredible half smile, and then back to the bike again.

"Just get on," he said softly, but the words were still very much a demand. "I'll make sure you get there on time."

I have no idea what I was thinking, but suddenly I was sitting side-saddle on a BMX bicycle, wearing a pencil skirt and spiked heels, flying down the sidewalk in the middle of the city. The boy was alternating between rapidly rotating the functional pedals, standing on the pedals attached to the back wheel, and balancing on the handlebars with his legs stretched out behind us. I couldn't help but noticed the definition in his arm muscles as they tightened and flexed during that particular move.

He swerved around the pedestrians and hotdog stands like he did this kind of thing every day, and he probably did. I held tightly to the inside part of the handlebars and just prayed I wasn't going to fall off. I had to admit, he did get me to the Swan Financial building with five minutes to spare.

"Thank you," I said as he stopped the bike and lifted me off the seat with both hands while balancing the bike with the toe of one foot.

"My pleasure," he responded. "Will you have dinner with me now?"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," I stammered.

"Why not?" he asked, his eyes narrowing a little. His hand went up to push his bangs out of his eyes, creating a disaster of curling, sticking out hair all over his head. "Do you already have a date?"

"No, but…"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, I…"

"You're not wearing a ring," he gestured towards my left hand with his head.

"I'm not married, I just…"

"You are going to eat tonight, aren't you?"

"Well, yes…of course, but…"

"Why not, then?"

"I don't even know you!" I finally blurted out.

"Well, I know that," he scoffed. "The whole idea of going to dinner is for us to get to know each other."

"But I'm going to be here for hours," I said. "I'm not even sure when I'll be done."

"I'll wait for you," he said. He pointed down to the ground beneath his feet. "Right here. I didn't have any other plans today, so it's no big deal at all."

"I don't even know your name," I said.

"Edward. Now will you go to dinner with me?"

"Well, Edward," I sighed, finally giving in, "I'm Bella. And I guess if you really feel like waiting that long, I'll look for you when I get out. If you are still here, maybe we can go to dinner."

"Sweet," he said, the half-smile returning. He maneuvered the bike behind him with one hand and stepped up closer to me. His tongue darted out and twisted the hoops through his lip in a circle. "Can I kiss you?"

"What?" I gasped. "No!"

"Okay," he said, still smiling. "I'm gonna go get a couple things, but I'll be back here in an hour. I know just where to take you."

I glanced at my watch. Three minutes before two-o-clock.

"I won't be done until after six," I said.

"That's cool," he responded, sitting on the seat of his bike and lighting a cigarette with a chrome-colored Zippo lighter. "I'll be here."

He pedaled off slowly without looking back, perfectly balanced on the bike – one hand holding the cigarette and the other flipping open a phone to type in a text message.

I shook my head and went into the building.

…

The interview went fine, of course. I mean, having my dad ask me a bunch of questions about my GPA and why I wanted to go into accounting was ridiculous, but we played the game for the sake of appearances anyway.

After the round of interviews, introductions to the two board members I hadn't known since I was twelve, Dad took me to the room that would become my office. I met three ladies there and ended up interviewing each of them as my potential secretary. I met so many people and talked so much small talk I was about to scream. Besides, my thoughts kept traveling outside.

I wondered if Edward was really out there, waiting for me. I wondered if I should maybe go out the back door and avoid the whole situation, but that would be exceedingly rude, wouldn't it? I had already told him I would look for him, and if he really did spend his whole afternoon waiting for me, I couldn't decline his dinner invitation, could I?

Did I even want to?

One thing was certain, I wasn't about to tell my father that I had a date, because he'd insist on meeting the guy. I could just imagine how that would go! Dad would throw a fit when he found out I didn't really know Edward, and then if he actually saw him – all pierced and tattooed and riding a freaking bicycle – yeah, let's just say it wouldn't go over very well. I forced myself to focus on a little more corporate talk before Dad said he needed to leave to get ready for a dinner engagement.

"One thing about Sue," Dad said to an aging board member, "she doesn't care if you forget a birthday or anniversary, but dinner engagements with her sister and brother-in-law are not to be taken lightly!"

They both chucked, and I wondered if Dad's third wife had actually ever become angry about anything. I couldn't see it. I gave Dad a quick kiss on the cheek and told him I would see him next weekend, and then I rushed down the hallway to get outside as quickly as I could. I pushed the button for the lobby level about thirty times, just in case it really did make the door close faster. Once the doors opened again, I stepped out of the elevator, trying to decide if I was going to feel relieved or devastated if I did not find Edward on the sidewalk outside the building.

The sun was peering out between two skyscrapers, and I could see the light shining through the spokes of the bicycle's wheels and the faint glow of Edward's cigarette. I walked slowly towards him.

"Hey," he said casually. He tossed the butt of the cigarette into the gutter and held out a small shopping bag towards me.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Shoes," he said with a shrug. He pointed down to the heels still squashing my toes. "You don't want to wear those anymore."

I peered into the little, unmarked, black bag and found a pair of pink Converse high-tops with small, black, cartoon kittens all over them.

"What am I supposed to do with these?" I asked.

"Put them on, obviously," he said. "You wear a seven-and-a-half, right?"

"Yes…how did you know that?"

That smile came back, this time with both sides of his mouth turning up and his teeth rubbing against the thin metal rings in his lip.

"I have a thing for feet," he said, and then blushed. He actually _blushed._ "Put them on – they're really comfortable. Here…"

He moved off the bike and held it steady, indicating that I should sit on the seat to change my shoes. As ridiculous as it was, my feet were killing me, and getting out of the heels sounded really, really good. I looked at the ridiculous shoes in the bag, then at my $1500 executive-wear designer skirt and blouse.

"I don't think they match my outfit," I told him.

"Who gives a shit?" he asked, looking at me quizzically. "We're not going to the fucking Candelabra downtown. No one is going to be looking at your shoes, and you'll feel better."

I couldn't really argue with his logic, but found myself looking around for anyone I might know exiting the building. When I didn't see anyone, I sat down on the bike and pulled off the heels. Once I had the Converse laced up, I dropped my dress shoes in the bag.

"What's wrong?" I asked when I noticed Edward glowering at the bag in my hand.

"I don't suppose you would let me burn those fuckers up, would you?"

"My shoes?" I asked, incredulous. "No! Of course not!"

"I figured," he grumbled.

"Why would you want to do that?"

He looked up to my face again and gave me the same questioning look he had before.

"They hurt you," he said with a shrug. "I don't like them."

He guided me on to the seat of the BMX and took off down the sidewalk in the same fashion we had before. I held tightly to the middle of the handlebars, with his hands on the outsides. His thumb reached over slightly and ran down the length of my little finger.

"Your skin is so soft," he said quietly, his lips near my ear. I felt my body shudder, whether at his touch or his soft voice, I didn't know. I leaned back just enough to feel his chest against my back as he veered off the sidewalk, on to the road and then back on the sidewalk across the street.

It wasn't long before Edward pulled into a side alley and parked his bike up next to a brick building. There was a white door propped open, and the smell of simmering tomato sauce and fresh bread wafted out into the air around us. Edward took my hand to help me off the bike, and then looked down at my fingers wrapped up in his. He glanced up at my eyes, quickly looked back down again, smiling that crooked smile and - holy crow – blushing again. He kept a light grip on my fingers and pulled me through the kitchen door.

"Isn't there a front door?"

"Sure," Edward said. "But it's all the way around in the front."

He led me through the bright white lights and stainless steel of the kitchen, calling out "yo" a couple of times and nodding his head at the kitchen staff. One of the guys with a floppy chef's hat whistled, and Edward told him to fuck off, but smiled when he said it. The kitchen erupted in laughter just as we reached a set of double-saloon doors that opened into a small dining room with about twelve tables in it. Each table had a little tiny votive candle and tiny vase with a single white rose in it. The linens were deep red and added to the atmospheric warmth emitted by the dark-stained hardwood floors.

It was quaint, cozy, and undoubtedly the most romantic place I had ever been.

"Hi Edward!" A cute little blonde hostess reached out and grazed her fingers down his arm. I bristled and glared at her. I mean, I realize this is a first date and all, but she doesn't necessarily know that. Even if she did, that was just rude. I stepped a little closer to Edward's side and wrapped the fingers of my free hand around his arm.

"Hey Tanya," Edward said, looking sideways at me. "This is Bella."

"Bella," Tanya said. She looked over my outfit, all the way down to my shoes, and I could have sworn she was smirking. "Right this way."

Tanya led us to the table in the middle of the small establishment, and I started to sit, but Edward pulled me back to his side.

"Not here," he said in a low voice. He turned to Tanya and pointed with his head. "Over on the other side of the fireplace."

"Fine," Tanya replied, flippant and flipping her hair. She took us around to the back of a large, round fireplace designed to sit in the middle of the room.

"This place has the best Italian food in the city," Edward said after we sat down and Tanya left. "Bruno makes everything from scratch – he even makes his own mozzarella. I worked here for awhile, and he showed me how to make it. It's really cool."

"That's sounds interesting," I said with a nod. "How long did you work here?"

"Just that one day."

"You worked here for one day?"

"Yeah, it doesn't take that long to make the cheese – just a few hours, and most of that is waiting for it to cool."

"That doesn't seem like much of a job," I mused.

"That's okay, I got paid in pizzas!" Edward laughed. "I got to use the cheese I made on it."

"So, where do you work now?" I asked, starting to fear the answer.

"Well, I'm kind of between jobs," Edward said, granting me a vision of his half-smile again. "I was working down at the pier with one of the crab boats a couple of weeks ago, but they were heading up to Alaska this week, and I didn't want to be away from my friends that long."

"Dare I ask how long you worked fishing for crabs?"

"Oh, I didn't do the actual fishing," he said, snickering again. "I went out on the boat and played my guitar while they were working. Once we got back, I helped them unload."

"Did you get paid in crabs?" I had to ask.

"Nah, I don't really like seafood," he said. "I just wanted to know what it was like on the boats. I'd seen them out in the water all my life, but I had never been on one."

"So you got actual money for that job?"

"Nah," he said again. "I just needed something on my resume."

I looked into his eyes, trying to decide if he was serious or not. His eyes were laughing, and he was biting those rings in his lip again.

"You're teasing me," I accused.

"Maybe a little," he admitted with a shrug. "So what were you interviewing for?"

"Swan Financials," I said, not really wanting to dig into this subject.

"What do you want to do?"

I considered saying something along the lines of "Absolutely nothing at my Dad's Company," but I decided that was probably a little too much information at this point.

"I'm looking into one of the opening executive positions," I finally said. "I graduate next month with my masters in business administration."

"Oh," he said. He scowled down at the table and started fiddling with the napkin-wrapped silverware.

A big guy dressed in all white stopped by the table at that point, calling out in lightly accented phrases.

"Edward! Good to see you again!"

"Hey Felix," Edward said, standing up and shaking the guy's hand. "I'd like you to meet Bella."

"Wonderful to meet you, Bella," he said, taking my hand and shaking it lightly. "Watch out for this one, he's a charmer."

I smiled and looked away, trying to force myself not to blush. I probably wasn't successful. When I glanced back at Edward, I saw he was blushing as well, so I decided not to worry about it too much.

"Do you know what you want tonight?" Felix asked, looking at me.

"Umm…I'm not sure yet," I said, looking down at the menu for the first time. "Edward? What are you getting?"

"I want a Caprice Salad," Edward said. "And a margarita pizza, bruschetta, the fettuccini Alfredo and a Coke. You got vanilla gelato today?"

"Of course," Felix responded. "Bruno made it this afternoon."

"Vanilla gelato for dessert."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you going to eat all of that?"

"Nah," Edward said. "I like everything, so I can never pick what I want. I take the leftovers to Emmett and Jasper."

I shook my head at him, trying to figure out what the heck I had gotten myself into with this guy. I glanced over the menu once more and decided on the mushroom ravioli.

"Are you in school?" I asked when Felix left with our order.

"No," Edward said. He didn't look at me, and didn't seem to be prepared to elaborate. Just as I was about to change the subject, he spoke up again. "I had to drop out."

"Oh."

"I got hurt in high school," he said, shrugging again. "I did a lot of track and field, mostly pole-vaulting. I hit my head coming down when I was sixteen and ended up in a coma for a couple of days. I spent about a month in the hospital before I could go home. I have trouble reading now."

"I'm sorry," I said, not sure how to respond.

"It's okay," he said. The corners of his mouth turned up, but it didn't hit his eyes this time. "I graduated from high school, at least."

"How old are you?" I asked, immediately regretting the question.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

"A little," I said. I tried to laugh it off. "I mean, can you at least buy me a drink?"

"No," he replied and flashed that incredible half grin again. "But if you want one, you can order it and I'll slip you some cash when no one is looking."

I think my mouth must have dropped open as I stared in disbelief. Edward suddenly looked away, and his hand went up into his hair, making it impossibly messier than it already was.

"I'm nineteen," he blurted out.

I looked across the table at him, meeting his eyes and trying not to register shock in mine, but I could tell by his expression he saw it anyway.

"Wow," I finally said softly. I waited for him to ask me how old I was, but he didn't, so I decided to offer it up anyway. "I'm twenty-four."

"I figured," he said simply.

"How's that?"

"Four years in undergrad, plus two for your masters. Assuming you started college right after high school and didn't fall behind at all, you would be twenty-four."

I couldn't fault his logic.

"Is that going to bother you?" he asked, his intense eyes boring into mine again. "The age difference, I mean?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "If we were in a relationship, maybe…"

"What did you like studying in college the most?"

His abrupt change in topic was extremely welcome, but there was still distance in his eyes that wasn't there before.

"I liked a lot of things," I said. "Obviously I had a lot of accounting and finance classes, as well as economics…"

"Are those the classes you liked the most?"

"They were needed for my major."

"What did you take that you liked?"

"Well, the past two years I have mostly focused on the classes I needed for my masters," I told him. "There wasn't a lot of time for anything extra. I took a couple of lit classes."

"Literature?" Edward's eyes brightened again. "What kind?"

"English and American, also one of German Women writers. Those were all during my undergrad, though."

"Who is your favorite author?"

"I have a lot of them," I admitted. "It's hard to choose just one. I love Austen, Bronte, Shelley, Poe, Tolkien, Anne Rice and Stephen King – lots of different ones."

"Sweet," he said, and his smile glowed with the light of the fireplace and the light from his eyes. "I loved the Lord of the Rings movies."

"They were all right," I replied with a shrug. "I usually hate it when they take a great book and ruin it with a movie though."

"Ruin it?" Edward's eyes widened. "Those were some of the best movies ever. I mean, the cave troll alone would have made a great flick! And you can't tell me that Orlando Bloom wasn't the most awesome Legolas there could ever be."

"And that's just the sort of things I'm talking about. It was journey about loyalty and friendship, and the movie had to make it a constant bloodbath just to keep teenage boys entertained."

"That's an extremely narrow minded view of film," Edward argued. "Actually, if you look at…"

We had a fantastic dinner, and spent the next two hours talking about every book we had ever read. Though I had a little trouble keeping the five year age gap from bothering me, both the food and the conversation had been wonderful. For someone who had dropped out of college, Edward had obviously been remarkably well read before he was hurt. We had similar tastes in authors and had argued half the night about whether or not books should ever be turned into movies. He had great points to his arguments, but not enough to change my mind. He might have had difficulty reading now, but whatever was wrong with him obviously didn't affect his intelligence in the slightest. We laughed, and I was having such a great time, the next thing I knew we were headed back to his BMX bike and I was agreeing to go back to his apartment with him.

"Yo, dude," Edward said into the phone. "I'm coming home tonight. Just wanted to warn ya that I'm bringing someone with me. So, I dunno…take the night off or something? We'll be there in about ten…yeah, that's cool. See ya in a bit."

He flipped the phone closed and shoved it into his jeans pocket. I tried to figure out just what in the heck I thought I was doing.

"Your roommate?" I asked, trying not to show the nervousness I was beginning to feel. My eyes focused on the rings decorating his face and the ink decorating his arm. I had figured out the tattoo around his arm was a tail of some sort, but I hadn't mustered up the courage to ask him about it yet. Edward seemed great, but I didn't really know him. He wasn't exactly the type Daddy was going to welcome, and that by itself should have been enough for me to call it a night.

"Nah, just the help," he said, laughing. "Newton stays at my place 'cause I'm not there too much. I usually stay with Jazz and Em. I like it better there. I just didn't want to scare him or anything."

"Where do your friends live?"

"Lower west-side," Edward said. He maneuvered the bike away from the wall and held it steady with one hand so I could get on. Then we were off, and the cool, night breeze tossed my hair around my shoulders.

The area he mentioned was definitely not a nice neighborhood. My anxiety began to grow, wondering where Edward could live that would make him rather spend his time in the slums. I wanted to ask, but I had already agreed to go back to his apartment and didn't want to hurt his feelings. At the same time, I knew this was a really, really stupid thing to do. I hadn't even told anyone I was going out tonight or who I was with, and now I was going to this guy's apartment.

"Edward," I said, and he leaned his head closer to mine as he continued to pedal down the sidewalk. I saw the entrance to the subway about two blocks away, and figured this really was for the best. "Could you stop a minute, please?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, and pulled off to the sidewalk's edge, dismounted and put one hand on my shoulder. He leaned over and looked at me. "You okay? You aren't motion sick or anything, are you?"

"No, I'm not," I said. I slid off the seat and bent down to start untying the shoes.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked. He knelt down next to me and placed one hand over the laces to stop my movements.

"This really isn't a good idea," I said. What was I thinking? Going to some guy's apartment when I just met him, and no one even knew where I was? Granted, I felt like I knew him a little now, and I really didn't think he would hurt me, but he was practically a kid, a college dropout and…and…whatever else he was. A punk? A goth? I had no idea what he was supposed to be called. It didn't matter. I couldn't be with him. "I should go home, and I should give you the shoes back…"

"The shoes are yours," Edward said, his eyes darkened and narrowed at me. "I don't want them back. Why do you want to go home?"

"I just…should,"

"I fucked something up, didn't I?" He reached behind me and pushed the bike backwards, allowing it to crash-land against the side of the building. I hoped the package of leftover Alfredo wasn't spilled. With a slight thump, he dropped to the sidewalk on his backside and his hands went up into his hair. "I'm sorry – whatever it was I did. I didn't mean to piss you off."

"You didn't piss me off," I tried to assure him. "This is just…a little weird for me. I can't do this."

"What's weird?" Edward asked, his eyes still narrowed. He released one of his hands from his hair and used it to pull a cigarette out of his shirt pocket. He took a long drag off of it, and then looked back up at me. He looked so…confused. "I thought you were having a good time."

"I did have a good time, Edward," I told him. "I mean, I _am_ having a good time. It's not that I don't want to, it's just…not a good idea."

"What isn't?"

"Going back to your apartment with you."

"I didn't mean it that way," Edward said. His eyebrows scrunched together as he furrowed his brow. "I wanted to spend more time with you. If the restaurant hadn't been closing, we could have stayed there. I can ask Bruno, he might let us stay there for a while longer, but we'll have to hurry or he'll be gone already."

"No, don't do that," I said. I wanted to sit down, but I couldn't figure out what to do with myself. Edward was sitting on the ground, the bike was in a small pile behind me and I was in a skirt that was way too tight for sitting next to him. "I'm a little nervous."

He looked up and me and tilted his head a little to one side.

"I would never hurt you, Bella," Edward's eyes were dark and intense. "Or take advantage of you. Never."

"I know you wouldn't, Edward," I said, and immediately knew it to be true. "I don't know if this is the right thing to do."

"Do you want to spend more time with me?" Edward stared straight into my eyes.

"Yes," I said, "but…"

"If you want to, what's stopping you?"

Images of my father's face bounced around in my head – every expression from his deep disappointment to his extreme ire face made an appearance. The potential opinions of some of my friends – Jessica, Lauren, even Jacob – echoed through my head. I was an up and coming debutante expected to be the future of the financial business in this city. It wasn't just a matter of whether or not I should be in this guy's apartment – I shouldn't even be seen with him.

"It doesn't really look right…"

"You are worried about how this looks?" Edward's dark eyes glared at me, his head tilted off to one side a bit, and then he looked to the left and the right, down the nearly deserted streets. "Who's going to see you?"

He had a point there. If his friends lived on the lower-west side, where ever he was taking me was not likely to be a spot frequented by my father's golf buddies.

"All right," I heard myself say. "You are right, and I'm being silly. Let's go."

Edward's smile came back almost instantly, and he jumped up, righted the bike and we were on our way again in no time. Before long, we were riding past the high-rise department store buildings and approaching the end of the block.

"Almost there," Edward said into my ear, his warm breath sending chills down my spine. He turned abruptly into a parking garage under the Marquise Apartment building and screeched to a halt near the elevator, wrapping one arm around my waist to keep me from falling off.

"Edward," a man dressed in a dark blue suit walked up and took a hold of one of the handlebars. "Good to see you again."

"Hey, Tyler," Edward greeted him by knocking his closed fist against Tyler's shoulder. "This is Bella."

"Good evening, Miss," Tyler said with a nod. "Welcome."

I was about as confused as I could get. I couldn't even begin to guess as to the rent in this building, so there was no way this kid who normally stayed with friends in the slums could possibly live here. Tyler took the bike and rolled it over to the elevator, inserted a key and the doors opened for us. He reached around and hit the button for the fifty-second floor, then stepped back out again.

"I'll make sure your bike is stored properly. Do you know when you will be leaving?"

"Not sure yet," Edward said, looking at me through his lashes.

"I'll keep it close by then," Tyler said with a nod. "I'll bring the car around as well, if you think you'll be needing it."

"Nah," Edward said. "Don't waste time with it. I'll call ya if I need it."

"Very good, sir."

We entered the elevator and I just stared at him as it began to rise.

"Not what you were expecting?" Edward said with a smile.

"You live here?"

"Not often," he said. "But yeah, this is my place."

"The penthouse?"

"The whole top floor," he confirmed. "It's fucking insane. Way too big for one person."

"How can you…?"

"Long story." He laughed again. "But I'll tell you tonight, if you really want to know."

The doors opened into a large foyer, tastefully decorated with original prints of the city and fresh flowers. Edward walked in and took off his shoes, motioning for me to do the same.

"My mom was always a nut about no shoes in the house," he said. "It stuck with me."

He took my hand and led me through the entryway and into a huge great room with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city and a huge fireplace. There was a black leather couch and a loveseat, as well as mahogany coffee and end tables. There were also two florescent pink bean bag chairs sitting in front of a gigantic television.

"Edward, this place is incredible."

"Good evening," a voice said behind me, which caused me to jump and let out a little screech. Edward tightened his grip on my hand and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.

"Hey, Mike," he said. "This is Bella."

"Good to meet you, Bella," Mike said, holding out his hand. I shook it briefly and echoed his reply. "I'll be going now. Call if you need anything."

"Will do," Edward responded. He gave Mike a high-five as he walked out of the room and towards the elevator. A moment later, Mike was gone and we were – as far as I could tell – alone.

"I've got movies if you want to watch something."

Edward stood in front of a cabinet, one hand in his hair and tugging at the ends. He danced from one foot to the other, then looked up at me, his cheeks red.

"They're mostly movies based on books." He let out a quick, nervous laugh. My laugh was more genuine, and he seemed to relax a little.

"I think I'll pass," I said.

"Do you want a Coke or something?"

What I really wanted was a glass of wine, but I didn't say so.

"Maybe just some water?"

"Sure."

Edward walked up three short, hardwood steps to the raised kitchen area and pulled a glass out of the cabinet. He filled it with ice and filtered water, grabbed a can of coke out of the fridge and brought them both back to the living area. He handed me my water, then plopped down on one of the bean bag chairs.

I looked from the comfortable looking leather couch to the floppy bean bag chair on the floor next to Edward. I pulled a bit at the edge of my skirt, and tried to figure out if there was any way I could possibly sit down without ripping the hem and/or falling right on my face.

"Oh, shit!" Edward jumped up out of the chair, spilling the Coke in his hand all over the floor. He cursed again, put the can on a coaster on the coffee table and ran out of the room. He was back in less than a minute, holding a bundle of clothes, which he thrust at me. "They won't fit right, but you'll be able to sit better."

I looked at the pair of turquoise yoga pants and a beige tank top that were just a little too big for me. They obviously weren't Edward's.

"My Mom's," he said. I could have sworn he had mind reading abilities.

"Will she mind?"

"Um…no," Edward grabbed a towel from the kitchen and started cleaning the Coke off the carpet. "Both my parents are dead."

"Oh, crap…Edward, I'm sorry." I reached one hand out towards him, but wasn't sure what I planned to do with it, so I dropped it back to my side.

"It's okay," he said with a shrug. "It's been a couple of years. There's a bathroom down the hall – second door on the left."

"I'll go change."

When I came back in the more comfortable clothing, the Coke mess was cleaned up and both of our drinks were sitting on the coffee table. Edward was rinsing out the towel in the kitchen sink. He looked over his shoulder at me and smiled.

"That looks a lot easier to get around in," he said. He hopped down the three stairs and flopped back into the bean bag, motioning me to do the same. "Why do you wear that stuff, anyway?"

"I'll be working in the corporate world," I said. "It's what you wear."

"What does that stuff have to do with your job? Couldn't you do the job just as well in a pair of jeans?"

"I suppose so," I responded. I had never really thought about it. It was just what you wear in corporate America. "But people are expecting a certain look. If you want to convince them you will take care of their investments, they have to see you as a professional."

"Doesn't Swan Financials already have a good reputation?"

"Yes, very good. We're a leader in the industry."

"I thought so." He smiled that half smile at me, and I was fairly certain I was going to end up staining the crotch of his Mom's yoga pants if he kept doing that. "If you didn't, I might have to pay attention to what was happening with my money, and I really don't want to fuck around with all that shit."

"You're invested with us?"

"Us?" he questioned. "I thought you just interviewed there today. Did you get the job?"

It was my turn to blush scarlet.

"Well, you see – it was really only an interview in name," I tried to explain. "I already have the job. My father is Charles Swan."

I sat back and waited for the shift in attitude that always occurred. Sometimes I truly hated my family name. The people in this town seemed to think we needed to be treated like Rockefellers or something. I hated it. Dad loved it.

"Oh, I got it," Edward said. He tipped his soft drink can up and drained it. "Yeah, my Dad did a lot of business with Swan Financial. Most of the money's still there. I don't really pay much attention to it. All the bills are paid automatically for this place, and I only use the account directly to pay Newton and shit. Sometimes I'll use the credit card, like tonight, but not often."

He shrugged, half-smiled and blushed again.

"I guess I still owe you a story," he said, waving his hand around in the air and indicating the penthouse apartment.

"Yes, you do," I agreed. "Will you tell me about your parents as well?"

"They are a big part of it," he said with a wry smile.

"I guess that should have been obvious, huh?" I smiled back, hoping I hadn't sounded flippant or anything. Edward smiled and began speaking.

"My parents were awesome," Edward started. "They both worked really hard, but they would at least try to make time for me when they could. One of them would always be at my major track meets and whatever. Mom said I was her miracle baby – she wasn't supposed to be able to have any, and ended up with a hysterectomy right after I was born. They were so proud of me, and I always felt loved and accepted. Even after the accident, when I wasn't a straight _A_ student any longer and I wasn't allowed to vault or even run track, they still said they were proud of me for how hard I was working to finish high school. I thought I was still going to get through college at that time, too, and I was going to pay my own way. Both of them came from families with money, but they also both made their own fortunes as well. They were starting to talk about retirement when my Dad – he had a pilot's license – flew them to our place in North Carolina."

"It was our regular family trip, and I always went with them. The three of us flew out there about once a month. I had just gotten out of the hospital after the last surgery, and the doctor said I shouldn't be on a plane – something about the air pressure changes and possible swelling – I don't really remember. They were going to forget the usual weekend voyage all together, but I knew they needed a break, and I told them to go. A bunch of my friends were going to throw me some kind of get well party or whatever, so I wouldn't be on my own or anything. They finally agreed to go without me. No one knows exactly what happened – turbulence or what – but Dad lost control of the plane and they were both killed."

Edward reached up with the back of his hand and swept moisture away from his eyes. I maneuvered out of my bean bag chair and knelt before him, taking his hands. He glanced at my shyly, and looked down to our joined hands. He shifted over a little in the bean bag, making room for me to sit next to him. I crawled in beside him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt his arms over my shoulders, holding me against his chest.

"Thanks," he said softly.

"You're welcome," I responded, not really sure what else I could say.

"I spent a lot of time thinking I should have been with them – that we all should have been killed. Then I spent a lot of time deciding it was my fault, because I told them to go without me. I don't feel that way anymore, but it took a lot of time to work through it. I definitely learned something, though."

"Nothing matters more than the people in your life," Edward continued. "Your relationships with those around you are what defines you and makes you real. My parents live on because I remember them, and I see how what they did affects everything I do today. They don't live on in the stuff in this penthouse, the family property in Wales or the money in the trust funds."

"It's usually lonely here," Edward said. "I spend time with my friends in their crappy little overcrowded apartment because they are real. They have no idea how much money I have, though they know my parents left me something, but they do know that money means nothing. I'd rather eat grilled cheese made on a hotplate at their place than have some chef cook up filet mignon and eat it here alone. Nothing here means anything, because I don't share it with anyone else."

Edward was quiet for a minute, his fingers slowly tracing up and down my back.

"I think you are closer to your parents now than I ever have been to mine," I said softly. "Mom is off in her own little world – I think in Paris now – and Dad is…well, he's just Dad. I've never known him."

"Does he work a lot?" Edward asked.

"Does all the time count as a lot?" I laughed humorlessly. "When he isn't at the office, he's having dinner with clients or golfing with board members. He's never _not _working."

"He sounds dedicated."

"He is," I agreed. "The business is very important to him. That's one of the reasons he says he won't trust it to anyone but me."

"Well, I guess my money will continue to safely accrue interest, then."

"What is your last name?" I asked, wondering if his family was one of the bigger clients whose names I would recognize.

"Cullen," he said softly, and I couldn't help my gasp.

As soon as I heard him say it, the whole story he recounted came back to me. Doctors Carlisle and Esme Cullen, tragically killed in a small-engine plane accident a little less than two years ago. It was all over the society pages for a month. I vaguely recalled mention of a single heir, and obviously Edward was he. The Cullens were one of the top five clients at Swan Financial, going back to the turn of the century for both families. Their portfolio was in the billions.

"Oh my God," I heard myself mutter. I lifted my head up off his chest so I could look at him better. I tried to remember if I had seen pictures of his family before. I probably had, but I couldn't remember. "I had no idea…"

"It doesn't matter," Edward said, succinctly cutting me off. His eyes looked down into mine, and his expression was pained. "Please, don't let it make any difference."

"It doesn't," I said, because it was true. Even with his name, my father would never see past the metal and the ink. My friends would never see anything but the boyish face and the BMX bicycle of the guy five years my junior. No one would see past the lack of college degree and the numerous friends living in the worst part of town.

"Can I kiss you yet?" he asked, his voice quiet again, and his eyes looking pleadingly into mine.

"Yes," I replied.

He tilted his head down and pressed a soft, gentle kiss against my lips. He hesitated only a moment before pulling back and granting me the glorious smile, times ten. It lit up his entire face…no, his entire body...no, wait – it lit up the whole fucking_ room_ it was so blinding.

"Again?" he asked.

I could only nod.

His lips met mine a second time, and again he was gentle and slow, leaving quiet, closed mouth kisses on my lips. He moved from my top lip to the bottom one, then to one side before the other. The metal from his lip-rings glided smoothly over my skin. I reached out my tongue to taste the rings, and quickly found his tongue touching mine, first just the tip, then wrapping around and sucking my tongue into his mouth.

He tasted like warm summer dusk, vanilla ice cream and Coca-Cola with the slightest hint of his last cigarette lingering behind. He moaned against my mouth and leaned back in the bean-bag chair, pulling me slightly on top of him.

I opened my mouth and let him inside, his tongue reaching up and stroking my lips first before tasting me as well. Despite the desire I felt behind his kiss, he remained gentle, quiet, and completely, incredibly sweet.

I cupped his face in my hands, ran my fingers over the rough stubble on his cheeks, noting the contrast between his rough jaw and his smooth lips, and pushed against him to deepen the kiss. My tongue ran over his top lip, then the bottom one. The metal loops slipped and slid across the tip of my tongue.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"Does what hurt?"

"The rings – the ones in your lip. Does it hurt to kiss?"

"Does this hurt?" Edward's teeth gently gripped my lower lip and pulled, biting and sucking it into his mouth before slowly releasing it.

"No…that feels awesome."

"The rings kind of feel like that," he said with a half smile. "Suck on them."

I blinked a couple of times, a little surprised by his bluntness, but my curiosity overcame any potential hesitation I might have had. I leaned close to him again and wrapped my lips over the top and bottom of his lower lip, effectively trapping the rings in my mouth. I ran my tongue over the metal, which was warm from our kissing, before I did as he said and sucked a little.

Edward moaned, and his grip behind my back increased, crushing my chest to his. I pulled back and let go of his lip, and his eyes flew open.

"Was that too much?" I asked.

"Fuck, no," Edward said. "That felt great - don't stop!"

I sucked his lower lip into my mouth again, caressing the rings with my tongue and my lips, getting to know the feel of them before my tongue found his mouth. He let me lead for a while, then ran his hand up to the back of my head, and pressed harder against me, his tongue invading my mouth like the Roman army invading Gaul – relentless and all-powerful.

I have no idea how long we sat in a fluorescent pink bean-bag chair, making out like a couple of high school kids, but I knew my lips were actually starting to get sore and my bladder desperately needed a break. I pulled back from him.

"I think I need a minute," I said quietly, trying not to blush.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, his eyes searching mine.

"I'm good," I said. "I just need to…um…use the bathroom."

"Oh, okay – no problem." Edward stood up; taking me with him and helping me turn around so I was facing the hallway. I stepped into the bathroom again and looked over my flushed face. My breaths were still coming in pants and my heart was still trying to jump right through my ribcage so it could do a little happy dance on the bathroom counter. I tried to calm myself down a bit as I took care of business, washed my hands and splashed some cold water on my face.

I came out of the bathroom and didn't see Edward in the living room any longer. After a quick look around, I felt a light breeze and followed it out to a balcony door, where Edward was leaning against the glass and metal rail and smoking a cigarette.

"Hey," he said softly, and that half smile crossed his face again as he glanced at me, then looked out over the city. He flicked ash over the side and sighed.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said with a bit of a snicker. "I'm just trying to figure out what to do so I don't fuck this up."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to ask you to spend the night with me," Edward said. "But I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I just want you to stay and sleep with me."

"Edward, I…"

"Wait a sec." He took a long drag off the cigarette and crushed it under his heel. "See, I'm already saying it wrong. I just don't want you to go. I want you to stay so I can make you French toast for breakfast in the morning. I swear I'm not trying to get you to fuck me or anything. I'm not like that. I haven't had sex since the last steady girlfriend I had, and that was four months ago. Shit, now I'm just babbling like an idiot."

"Edward, you don't have to tell me this," I said, secretly thrilled he didn't appear to be a complete whore or anything. Not that he couldn't be one if he wanted to be, with his looks and that smile. Regardless, I was glad to hear it had been as long for him – a little longer, even – as it had been for me. Not that I was planning on sleeping with him or anything…

"I know," he said. "I just don't want you to think I'm like that. I really like you, and I want to spend more time with you. If you leave, I might not ever see you again."

"Of course you would," I told him.

"You don't know that," he insisted. "The last thing my mom said to me was '_see you on Monday_.' She didn't mean for it to happen. She didn't know we'd never lay eyes on each other again. Life's a lot more fragile than you think. I don't want to assume you aren't going to be hit by a bus or have a fluke medical condition flare up all of the sudden, and risk never making you breakfast. I'd regret never making you breakfast. Please stay with me."

"It seems fairly unlikely…" I started to say there nothing was going to happen to me. I wanted to reassure him that sort of thing didn't really happen, but I couldn't say that to him. He knew that wasn't always the case. He had lived through just such a fluke, and anything I said now would be a slap in the face to him.

I tried to wrap my head around what he was asking. He wanted me to spend the night with him so he could make me breakfast in the morning. He wanted to spend more time with me, and I wasn't ready to leave just yet, either. It was, however, getting late, and the subway trains were going to get fewer and farther between. Not to mention you really didn't want to ride the subway after midnight anyway – too many crazies.

But stay overnight with a guy I just met? Even for college students that was pressing the limit a little. What would Jessica say? No – scratch that. Jessica would already be dry-humping him. What about Lauren, the voice of social reason? She'd never get past the piercings, even if she did hear his last name. My father…well, Dad would probably just lie down and have a coronary.

Edward reached over and ran his hand over my cheek, stroking my cheekbone with his thumb.

"Please stay," he said, and brushed his lips against mine. "You could use one of the guest rooms if you want, but I'd rather you stayed in my room."

"I don't know," I replied, trying hard not to get lost in his eyes again.

"I'd like to make out with you again, if that's okay."

"You have a knack for changing the subject," I accused him. Edward laughed.

"Sometimes certain topics need to be shut down," he told me. "People like to harp on the things they can't do anything about, and it gets them all worried, upset and even angry. Either you will decide to stay with me in my bed, in the guest room or not at all. At some point, you'll decide, and I can't control your decision. So, I change the subject to something else so you aren't just spending all your time being anxious about it, and I won't be, either. I would rather be enjoying your company."

"You sure are smart for your age," I mused.

"I've lived a lot in the past few years," Edward said. "I think the only real mistakes I have made have been when I didn't tell someone how I felt or didn't do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. You never know what tomorrow's going to bring, so don't wait to do or say something important. You only make real mistakes when you refuse to live in the moment. I guess it's my life motto now."

Taking his advice, whether he meant it to be advice or not, I reached over and took his face in my hands, bringing my lips to his. The night air had cooled off the thin silver rings, and the contrast between the metal and his soft, warm lips was enticing. I reached my tongue out and ran it over the little hoops, warming them. Edward's tongue pushed past my lips and stroked across my tongue, slowly caressing it and tasting me.

"Stay with me…please," Edward mumbled between kisses.

"I'll stay," I replied. I felt his tongue reach back into my mouth and his hands clasped the sides of my face. His mouth found my chin, my neck and my shoulder before making the trail back again to my lips.

I didn't know if what I was doing was a good idea, or how it would look, or how my father would react if he found out, but I was going to take Edward's advice, at least for now. I wasn't going to count this night among my regrets. I was going to seize this moment, and I was going to do what I wanted to do and stay with him, consequences be damned.

Maybe I would learn a little.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

So what do you think of shy and cocky Bikeward? Hit review and let me know!

Thanks to Mariamaral & StAngelS for coming up with the initial idea! I've had a lot of fun coming up with this!**  
**

...

For more information on Judging Books and my other work, visit the blog at http:/shaysavage(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

Follow on twitter - savage7289 - for occasional updates and babbling. Well, mostly babbling.


	2. Rationalizations Pt 1

**Author's Notes:**

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just piddling in her pool.

I have mentioned this on the blog and in a few tweets - this story has completely taken on a life of its own. What should have been a one-shot with about 12,000 words total is now...well...a lot longer. This is actually the first part of chapter 2. The second part is still with the beta, and should post later this week.

Thanks to DK for the beta reading, and to Mariamaral & StAngelS for coming up with the plot! :)

Special thanks to Sabrina for creating a banner for JB. If you haven't see it, you can find it on my blog. It is BEAUTIFUL!

* * *

**Chapter Two – Rationalizations**

"Want a foot massage?"

I wasn't sure if I was going to get used to Edward's bluntness or not. Then I freaked myself out a little, realizing I was thinking about how I was going to get used to the behavior patterns of a guy I met about twelve hours ago. Of those twelve hours, I think we had been making out for nearly three of them. After we ended the last session, we went searching Edward's three bathrooms for Chap-stick. I guess his idea of a make-out recess was to rub my feet.

"You don't have to do that," I said.

"I'd like to," Edward pressed. "And I'm willing to bet your feet still hurt from wearing those fuck-awful shoes."

"Those 'fuck-awful shoes,'" I said, "cost four hundred dollars. They're perfect for the suit."

"They hurt your feet," Edward insisted. "That means they suck, I don't care what they look like. Come here."

Edward extracted himself from the bean bag chair and ran out of the room. When he returned, there was a bottle of lotion in his hands. He plopped down on the end of the couch, turned towards the center and sat cross-legged, holding one hand out.

"Lay down with your head over there," He said, indicating the arm of the couch. "Put your feet over here. I swear, you won't regret it. I give an awesome foot massage."

"Yeah, you have a thing for feet," I remembered. Edward blushed. That was something I could easily get used to, because it was so freaking adorable.

"Well remembered," he said. His tongue came out and fiddled with the silver rings. "Please?"

I didn't know if there was a woman in existence who could actually pass up a man pleading with her to let him give her a foot massage. I sat down and placed my feet in his lap. Edward grinned over at me – I loved the way he smiled so often, almost as much as the blush – and picked up my left foot with both hands.

He coated his hands with the lotion, and then started by rolling my foot in a slow, gentle circle, stretching out the muscles around my ankle. Once he was done with that, his fingers moved to the top of my foot and stroked gently from the top of my toes towards my ankle, and then he added more pressure as he repeated the motion. He tilted my toes back a little, rubbing at the balls of my feet in little circles with his thumbs before working all the way back to my heel. He swirled my ankle in a circle again – first one way, then the other.

Edward made a fist with one hand and rubbed the tops of his knuckles over the sole of my foot before attacking each of my toes in turn, starting with the big one. At the end, he ran his index finger between each toe, and then slid his hands back over the sole of my foot.

By the time he was halfway done with my second foot, I closed my eyes and lay my head back on the arm of the couch. His hands felt so good on my skin – and his touch was just perfect – not too gentle or too strong. I'm pretty sure I let out a moan more than once, which was welcomed by Edward's soft chuckle.

He started humming while his thumbs ran up and down my instep, something slow, haunting and unknown to me. I found I couldn't open my eyes anymore if I wanted to, and his touch and his voice faded from my consciousness.

What seemed a moment later, I jostled awake, finding myself cradled in his arms as he stood in the middle of the hallway, looking back and forth between two doors.

"Edward?" I said sleepily. He looked down to me, his expression confused.

"I didn't know where I should take you," Edward said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you up; I just…didn't know where to go. There's a guest room…"

"Just take me to your room," I said sleepily.

"Thank God," I heard him murmur right before I dropped back off.

…

I woke up disoriented, trying to figure out where I was. There were warm, strong arms wrapped around me, one across my back and the other up near my shoulder. Fingers lay lightly across the back of my neck, threaded through my hair. Edward's fingers. I was at Edward's apartment, in his room, in his bed, in his arms.

Was I out of my mind?

True to his word, he hadn't tried anything. Against my better judgment, I wouldn't have minded too much if he had.

I raised my head a bit off his chest and looked up into his face. It was calm and peaceful in sleep, and the bronze colored stubble covering his face was a little more pronounced now than when I first saw him, and it was beginning to blend in with his sideburns. His dark lashes were long enough to touch the top of his cheekbone. I could have just stared at him for some time, but nature called, and I shifted a little to break out of Edward's grip. As soon as I moved, his arms tightened and pulled me against his chest again.

"No," his raspy voice echoed through the darkened room. I looked back up at him and found his forehead creased and his eyes tightly shut. There was a distinct frown on his face, but he didn't appear to have woken up.

I smiled at his twisted up look of disappointment, and gently released his hand from my neck before trying to get up again. His eyes flew open.

"Don't go," he said. His voice held a touch of panic.

"I'm just going to the bathroom," I said softly.

"Oh," he responded, and released his grip. He blinked a few times, and then glanced over to the clock on the nightstand. It was early still – just a little past six in the morning. His eyes followed me as I rolled over, placed my feet on the soft carpet beside the bed and made my way to the master bath.

When I returned, Edward was still awake and greeted me with that smile. A girl could really get used to seeing that in the morning.

Okay, obviously I_ was_ out of my mind.

He held his arms out, and I couldn't help but return the smile as I clambered back into the giant king-sized bed and back into the warmth of his embrace. His hand slid up my back and threaded through my hair before it rested lightly against my neck once again. I heard and felt Edward take a deep breath, which he let out slowly. I tilted my head a bit to look up at him and saw he was already asleep with the last remnants of his smile still visible on his face.

Contrarily, it took me significantly longer to fall asleep again. For a while I lay my head down on his chest and kept my eyes closed, but sleep didn't come as quickly as I would have liked, so I turned my head up to watch him sleep. I realized I could see just a little bit more of the top of the tattoo near his neck, almost completely hidden by his T-shirt. It was red and black with just a hint of green. I was pretty sure it was a flower of some kind – maybe a rose. With his arm wrapped around me, I couldn't really get a better view of the tattoo there, but it was definitely a tail. I thought it was most likely a dragon or at least something reptilian. There was something written on the bottom, under the triangular pointed end of the tail, but I couldn't see all the letters from the angle I had. If I shifted my head, I could make out "IEM," but that was all. I was going to have to ask him about the tattoos tomorrow. Maybe he'd take his shirt off so I could see them.

Now _there's_ an idea.

I listened to Edward sigh in his sleep and thought about everything the told me the night before. I wondered how he had reacted when someone came to him and told him both his parents were dead. I wondered what went through his head when he realized he was alone. He had been so young, too. He still was, really – only nineteen. _Freaking nineteen._ I wasn't sure if I could cope with that or not. I started weighing all the pros and cons of this whole situation in my head.

Pros – he was really sweet and kind, he seemed very intelligent, he could have a difference of opinion, state his case and not be mad or nasty afterwards – a definite pro, he was absolutely gorgeous, his smile counted as doubly gorgeous, his eyes maybe triple, he had great taste in books…

Con – he couldn't read them.

Was that really a con? I took a mental step back and reconsidered. When I didn't make any headway on that at all, I tried thinking about some other cons.

Cons – he had dropped out of college, my friends were going to think I'd lost my mind. They were going to roll their eyes, hope I just wanted to fuck his brains out for a while, and wait for me to move on to a "real" relationship. Dad was going to hate him.

That was a big one. If I told him who Edward's parents were first, then prepped Charlie on Edward's appearance before he actually met him, there was a slim chance he wouldn't completely freak out about the piercings, tattoos, and total lack of a real job. The friends in the slums could never, ever be mentioned.

This was _not_ going to be easy. Back to pros.

Pro – Kissing him was absolutely mind-blowing. I almost wanted to get my own lip rings.

Con – He had baggage, no doubt about that. I really didn't want to hold that against him. It's not like he could help what happened to his parents. He obviously had felt a lot of guilt over it at one time, and maybe still did on occasion. Fault or not, guys with baggage were known to be troublesome.

Pro – Foot masseur. Definite, mind-blowing pro.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Edward's unexpected voice shocked me out of my inner ramblings.

"Oh! You startled me!"

"I'm sorry," Edward said with a sheepish smile.

"You don't look sorry," I commented.

"You're cute when you're jumpy," he said, and then laughed.

"You're cute when you're sleeping," I said, and I reached up to kiss the end of his nose.

"I liked waking up and having you in here with me," he said without warning, his tone suddenly serious. "It feels right."

His words spooked me, not because he said them, but because I felt them, too.

"I gotta get up," he smiled, and his cheeks flushed pink. I rolled to my side, and Edward squirmed out from under me and the blankets before rushing off to the bathroom. He was in there a while, and I started to wonder just what the hell he was doing, but he finally came back out.

"You go ahead and take a shower or whatever if you want," Edward motioned to the master bath. "I put out some stuff for you, including some clothes. I hope that's okay?"

"Of course it is," I replied, wondering where he found clothes while in there. It was a big bathroom, but I didn't think it was quite that big. "That's very thoughtful, actually."

"I'll go start on breakfast." Edward reached out and ran his hand down my cheek before leaning in and kissing my lips quickly. He was minty, and I watched him run his tongue over the lip rings before he smiled at me and practically skipped out of the room. I shook my head and walked into the bathroom.

There were two pink, fluffy towels neatly folded on the edge of the tub, and there was a new toothbrush, still in its packaging, next to the sink in the bathroom. It was also pink, just like the towels and the bean bag chairs. I was really starting to wonder about all the pink in Edward's apartment. I noticed there was actually another door on the other side of the bath, and when I opened it I was floored by the size of the walk-in closet, two thirds of which was filled with women's clothes. I closed the door softly and thought about how hard it would be to try to go through your parents' things after they were gone. Obviously, Edward hadn't been able to do it. I fought back a tear and turned back to the shower.

To contradict my thoughts on color schemes, the products in the shower were decidedly masculine in nature. I smiled and lathered myself up with Axe body wash and washed my hair with American Crew shampoo. When I was clean enough, I stepped out on to the – yes, pink – bath mat and wrapped one towel around my body and the other around my hair. Once I was thoroughly dried and sporting a pair of lavender sweatpants and a – yes, pink – T-shirt from Edward's mother's wardrobe, I opened the bathroom door and walked towards the kitchen.

The smell through the hallway emulating from the stove was nothing less than magnificent. Edward was in the process of flipping a piece of French toast over in a large, heavy-looking skillet at the same time he was stirring a sauce pan of syrup. He looked over his shoulder and greeted me with his beautiful smile.

"You remember when we first met and I said you were pretty?" he asked.

"Well, yes," I responded, feeling my cheeks warm. "That was only yesterday."

"I was an idiot yesterday," Edward said. "You're incredibly beautiful."

My cheeks went from warm to blazing, and I had to look away for a minute. I wasn't used to such comments, even with guys I had dated in the past. I really wasn't sure how to respond.

"They knew it, too," Edward said quietly.

"Who knew what?" I asked, confused.

"Past boyfriends who never told you how beautiful you are. They saw it, they just didn't say it."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"You're blushing," he said. "That means you aren't used to people telling you that. Also, most guys are pretty inept at relationships and never tell girls what they want to say because they're afraid they'll sound stupid."

"Are you just that good at relationships?" I had to ask.

"No," Edward responded. "But at least I learn from my mistakes. My last girlfriend left because I didn't ever tell her how I felt. Once I realized what she wanted...no...what she_ needed_...it was too late. I'd already fucked it up."

Edward went back to flipping toast, and I stood there with my mouth open for a bit. I couldn't decide if he was for real or not. I mean, even if you ignore all the pink stuff, a guy this insightful, sensitive and thoughtful – and he's interested in women? It really didn't seem possible. I resisted the urge to start looking for cameras and game show hosts.

"Can I help?" I asked when I came out of my stupor.

"Sure!" Edward nodded towards the refrigerator. "There's orange juice in there and glasses in the cabinet on my left."

I opened the door to the fridge and gawked a bit. Aside from a jug of orange juice, last night's leftovers, and the ingredients for French toast, the fridge contained a jar of pickles, a squeeze bottle of mustard, four cases of Coke and three cans of Sprite. That's it.

Okay, despite the pink color scheme, he definitely wasn't gay. Not that I really thought he was. I retrieved the orange juice, filled a couple of glasses, and then placed them on the kitchen table. Edward flipped more toast and emptied the pot of warmed syrup into a small dish with a spout for pouring. I took it from him and put it on the table next to the jug of extra juice while Edward loaded a plate full of French toast and deposited it in the middle of the table.

We dug in, and I had to offer up a moan at the taste. It was undoubtedly the best French toast I had ever eaten.

"Edward, this is fantastic!"

"Thanks," he said with a blush. "My dad taught me how to make it when I was younger. I don't think he knew how to cook anything else. Mom hated to cook, so we ate out a lot, as you can imagine."

"My parents weren't much for cooking, either," I said. "I had a nanny when I was young, though. She did a lot of cooking for the family. She taught me how to make a bunch of stuff, which has come in handy since I moved out. It's easy to get lazy and eat out all the time though."

"It's expensive to do it all the time," Edward said.

"You don't really need to worry about that," I remarked.

"No, I don't," Edward said with a scowl. "But my friends do, so I usually try to bring some groceries over there instead. Since I eat over there more often than not, they'll take it and not consider it like…charity or anything. It's just my contribution, you know? They don't want any handouts, but food's pricy. I usually take Alice with me to shop. She's one of the few that knows I have money, but she won't let on about it. She helps me pick out the right stuff to buy."

"What's do you mean, 'the right stuff?'"

"The stuff that's more economical, and the stuff that's healthier. I can't figure out what's on sale and what's made from whole grains or not."

I hadn't even thought about it. It occurred to me that trying to get along in the world without being able to read was probably a lot more difficult than most people realized. I looked over at Edward and saw the half smile that didn't reach any of the rest of him. He looked…resigned …or maybe just sad. I wasn't sure.

"Why is it hard for you to read now?" I asked. "It has something to do with the accident in high school, right?"

"You ready for another long story?" Edward asked.

"Sure," I said, dipping another fork full of French toast into a glob of syrup. Edward shoved the last huge bite into his mouth, wiped syrup off his chin and took a large gulp of orange juice before he started his story.

"After hitting my head it took a long time for my brain to start working again," Edward said. "Like I said – I was in a coma for a couple of days. After I woke up, I couldn't speak or walk or anything. I don't remember any of this, just so you know. My parents told me what happened later. I don't remember anything from the first week I was awake. Once the brain swelling came down, I could speak, but I had to have a lot of physical therapy and learn to walk all over again. About three weeks after the accident I had the first grand mal seizure. I started having them about three times a week, and medication wasn't working at all. Then they started coming more often – three or four times a day – and they were getting worse. My head was just too messed up, so they decided the only thing they could do was some pretty major surgery to stop the seizures."

"There's this part of your brain – it's called the corpus callosum – that takes information from one side of your brain to the other. Sometimes seizures are caused by the information getting kinda…messed up, I guess. That's what was happening to me. The seizures were so bad they decided it would be better to…um…well, cut through it, so the two halves of my brain couldn't talk to each other anymore. We talked about it for a long time before agreeing to the surgery. My dad was a general practitioner, and my mom was an ER surgeon, but they knew several good neurologists. After getting about six second opinions, we all decided it was the only way I was going to get any better, so they did it."

He stopped for a second and took a deep breath before continuing.

"So, when they do the surgery, they sever all the connections between the right and left hemispheres of your brain, which stops the seizure from being able to go from one side to the other. That's what makes them really bad. So, when they cut through it, I stopped having seizures. It's called an _interhemispheric electrical storm_, so you'll be set if you ever get on Jeopardy."

My own brain spun in a little circle. Did I just hear him right? _Sever all the connections?_ Did he just say his brain was cut in two? I felt my heart rate increase as my chest muscles were clenching around it at the same time. My stomach tightened up as well, just for good measure. I had to have misunderstood what he said. Edward looked over to me and smirked a little before continuing.

"Yeah, so there are some kinda funky side effects when your brain's been cut in half. Like if I close my right eye, and you show me a picture of something, I can't tell you what it is verbally. That's 'cause the speech center of your brain is in the left side, and the right side controls your left eye. I can write down what it is with my left hand, but then I can't read it back to you, so it doesn't help much. Other split-brain people could read it, and then they'd know what they were looking at. Originally I thought it was kind of cool, but that wore off pretty quick."

Edward looked up from his hands for the first time since he started talking. I blinked rapidly, trying to hide the panic I felt from my eyes. He blushed, and then looked back down at his hands before continuing.

"The neurologist says my brain can't comprehend symbols anymore," Edward explained. "I'm actually not even allowed to drive, since I can't understand the signs. The reading thing's not as common in spilt-brain people – that's what they call you when you've had that surgery. Not being able to name stuff when you close your right eye, that's pretty common. Since everything kinda happened at once, it's possible my problems with symbols were part of the original damage from the accident. I'm just glad I'm not color blind, too. At least I know red means stop and green means go."

"I don't really give a shit about the driving," Edward went on, speaking fast. "I can get wherever I need to be with my bike and the subway. I still take my dad's car out a couple times a year – not during rush hour or anything – just so I know it still works. Dad really liked cars, so I kept his favorite. It sucks not being able to read, though. I used to read all the time. I tried listening to books on CDs, but they just don't capture my attention the same way holding a book used to. I dunno why. I tried holding the CD case while I was listening, but that really didn't do much for me, either. Mom read to me when I was in the hospital."

I watched his tongue dart out over his bottom lip and fiddle with the rings there. Edward looked nervously to his right, then his left, then finally back up to me.

"So, there you go," he said softly. "I guess the shorter version would have been to say I'm brain damaged. Some of the friends I had back then said it affected my personality as well, but my parents died just a couple weeks after the last surgery, so it could have been that, too. I'm not really sure. I don't have seizures anymore, at least."

Edward looked up from his hands and met my eyes. His look was so intense, and I knew he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know how to respond.

"Thanks for explaining it to me," I finally said. "I have heard of people having seizures, obviously, but I never heard of anything like this."

"It's not common," Edward said. "It's a pretty extreme way of resolving the problem, but in my case there really weren't any other alternatives."

"So, it's not just reading?" I asked for clarification. "All kinds of symbols?"

"Yeah," Edward nodded. "I can see fine, but when I look at a traffic sign or something, it just doesn't make any sense to me. You can tell me twenty times what it means, but I just don't get it. I know I should get it, and I know it should be easy, but the part of my brain that sees the picture and the part that can interpret it don't talk to each other. Letters are the same way, I guess."

Edward laughed.

"Sometimes it's funny, really," he said with a smile. "Emmett and I used to ride past this cafe every day. When we went by, I always got a craving for donuts, but didn't understand why. This happened about two weeks in a row before I mentioned it to Em. He told me there was a big sign with the words 'fresh donuts' painted on the window. My eyes couldn't read the word, but my stomach could!"

I smiled and shook my head, but didn't really find it funny. Edward reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Don't feel bad," Edward said quietly. "I don't usually tell anybody about this. I mean, I know I shouldn't be ashamed of it or anything – it's not like there's anything I can do about it. Most people don't realize there's anything wrong with me, and there are a lot of people who can't read, so people who figure it out just assume I never learned how. I just didn't want you to think I was…um...stupid, I guess."

"I never thought you were," I told him. "I mean, you have some screwed up ideas about what makes a good movie, but I can forgive you for that."

He met my eyes again, and I saw the light come back into his jade-green irises. A big, full smile lit up his face and he just about jumped over the table to take my head in his hands and press his lips to mine.

"Thank you," he said between kisses. "I was scared of what you would think. You're so smart…"

I was going to argue with him regarding my intelligence level, but frankly his kisses were just far too distracting, and within a couple of minutes both dinner and his divulgement were completely forgotten as we found ourselves back in the pink bean bag chair. We spent about an hour kissing and talking before I realized I really needed to get out of there for a while.

"I need to go home," I said, and I watched Edward's face fall and his gaze drop into his lap. He nodded slowly. "I have some errands to do, and I need to get back into my own clothes."

"Will you let me see you again?" Edward asked.

"Of course, Edward," I told him. I leaned over and placed my hand on his cheek. "I want to see you again."

"When?" He looked up at me with the slightest glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Anytime you want," I said automatically.

"Tonight?" he inquired. I laughed.

"Are you serious?"

"It's Saturday," Edward pointed out. "You shouldn't have school or work."

"I have studying to do."

"You could do it here," he offered. "Maybe I could help…as long as I didn't have to read anything."

"Edward, that's very sweet of you, but…"

"I'm not being sweet!" Edward growled. I flinched a little. I hadn't heard that particular tone come out of his mouth before. I looked over to him and saw he had his eyes closed and his jaw set. He took three long deep breaths, and then opened his eyes. "Sorry, but I'm really not. I want you to come back, and I'm saying all the wrong shit. If there are errands you have to run, I want to go with you. If you need to study, I want to just be there in the same room and I swear I won't get in your way. If you have to go home to do laundry, I want to help you fold it. I just…don't want to be away from you, and I'm probably sounding like some kind of stalker nutcase and fucking scaring you."

He stood abruptly, grabbed his pack of cigarettes off the end table and roughly slid open the balcony door. I stared after him for a minute, wondering if he maybe _was_ a little bit of a nutcase, but ultimately deciding he was not. He was just…saying what he really felt.

Who does that in the twenty-first century?

I tentatively stepped across the plush carpet until I was close enough to lean against the opening to the balcony and look out at him. He was leaning against the railing and sucking hard on the cigarette between his fingers.

"I'm sorry," he said before I could comment. "I just like you, and I'm scared if you leave something will happen to you. I know, that's fucked up and I need to get over it, but it always comes back when I meet new people and I want to get to know them better. I want to spend more time with you, but I don't want to freak you out, and I don't want you to think I'm crazy."

"I don't think you're crazy," I told him. "It's very…flattering that you want to know me better, and that you are worried about me. I do think I need to go home on my own for a little bit, because I need a little space right now. If you want me to, I could come back tonight."

"Really?" Edward turned quickly, tossed his cigarette to the side and took two long steps to reach me. He took my face in his hands and just held me for a moment, looking into my eyes and making me feel a little like fainting. He crushed his lips to mine, and then broke away quickly. "Shit! I'm sorry – cigarette breath…"

"It's okay," I said with a smile. "I don't mind."

"Really?" he said again. "You aren't just saying that?"

"No, not just saying it."

His lips were back on mine half a second later, his tongue in my mouth and my neck bent backwards under the force. He moved his lips over my chin, down to my throat and back up again. His arms wrapped around me and he held me tightly against his chest. Finally he released me and took a step back, his brilliant smile lighting up the room again.

"I'll give you the extra key," Edward said. He opened up a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out a security keycard with "Marquis" scrawled across the front. "Just come on back as soon as you can. I mean, don't feel like you have to rush, but…shit."

"It's all right, Edward." I took they key from his hand and slid it into my bag. "I'll probably be back around seven. Is that okay?"

"That would be awesome," Edward said with a nod. "Do you want to eat here? I can order something for us, or I could make more French toast. Oh! I could make mozzarella for pizza! Sorry – those are really the only things I know how to cook."

"You've cooked for me enough today," I said. "Ordering something would be great, thank you."

"Thank _you_," he responded.

"For what?" I asked.

"For being so understanding," he replied. "I know I can…take a little getting used to. I tend to be a little intense. I try to rein it in, but it doesn't always work."

"I don't mind," I told him. "Really, it's kind of refreshing."

I got the double-barrel smile and I was pretty sure I was going to have to keep a fresh supply of underwear here. That thought brought on another one.

"Actually, as long as we are being straightforward, I have a question."

"Anything," Edward said.

"Should I…um…bring a change of clothes for tomorrow?"

Edward's grin lit up the room.

"I'd really like it if you did," he said.

…

* * *

**Chapter End notes:**

I was a psych major in college - I always thought split-brain was absolutely fascinating, and it seemed to fit Edward pretty well. Anyone else ever heard of it? If you have, you will know the whole reading thing is a liberty I'm taking - people who have had this surgery can read just fine. It just works for me here. :) Artistic License! LOL

Don't forget to review! I'm really happy with how well this has been received. This Edward is quite different from the Edwards you are used to seeing in my writing. I mean, this one isn't even old enough to drink. ;)

If you have not checked out the banner for this story, please do! Sabrina did a FABULOUS job with it! Follow the blog link below to see it.

Someone asked it there was a thread for this, and I honestly don't know. If there is, someone let me know! :)

Thanks for reading!

...

For more information on Judging Books and my other work, visit the blog at http:/shaysavage(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

Follow on twitter - savage7289 - for occasional updates and babbling. Well, mostly babbling.


	3. Rationalizations Pt 2

**Author's Notes:**

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just piddling in her pool.

Okay - here is the rest of part 2. Enjoy!

Thanks to DK for the beta reading, and to Mariamaral & StAngelS for coming up with the plot! :)

* * *

**Chapter Two – Rationalizations (part 2)  
**

…

We exchanged phone numbers before I left, which included Edward taking my picture for his phone. I wasn't too thrilled about it – I hated having my picture taken – but he blushed and shrugged and said it was the only way he knew who he was calling. He showed me his contact list, and every entry included pictures of people.

"Since I can't read the names, the pictures make it a lot easier."

I guessed that made a lot of sense, really.

Edward called me a cab so I wouldn't have to take the subway. During the time it took me to get home, he sent me about fifteen picture messages of himself waving at me, showing me the left-over French toast, a picture of a carry out menu from a Chinese restaurant that was all in Chinese – so I had no idea what that meant – and pictures of three DVD covers depicting movies that were _not_ based on books. I found myself wondering just why the heck he bothered to get texting in the first place if he couldn't read. At least he seemed to have found a unique way of using it.

When I reached my apartment building, greeted the doorman, rode the elevator and slipped the key into the lock, I immediately noticed that something just didn't feel the same. Normally, my apartment was my haven – the place where I could do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it, and in the way I wished to proceed. No one was in my way, and no one told me how to run things at my place. I loved my apartment in all its "just me" glory.

I shook my head, as if the feeling would fly from my hair like raindrops. It didn't, but I tried to ignore it as I made myself a quick salad from the fridge and poured myself the glass of wine I had desired the night before. I picked through my mail while I waited, throwing every piece into the recycling bin except for the credit card bill and a donation request from Make a Wish.

Once a had a load of laundry going – including my borrowed clothing – I did a little general cleanup in the kitchen and bathroom, pulled out some of my economics books and got to work on the studying. The feeling stayed with me while I went through the study guide, finished the reading and worked out a few potential essay answers.

I knew what it was. I knew what it was the moment I walked through the door. I didn't want to be here, alone and with no one to share my thoughts. I wanted to be somewhere else, with someone, maybe sitting in a pink bean bag chair.

My cell phone rang and I jumped, an instant smile and stomach full of butterflies accompanying me across the room to my purse. The butterflies all halted in midflight and dropped to the bottom of my gut in a rock-like lump when I saw "Dad" flashing over the screen.

"Hi Dad," I said with a silent sigh.

"Hey there, Bells!" he called out. "You did an absolutely fantastic job yesterday, of course. We need to go over your schedule for next week. Now, when are you done with classes?"

"Two more weeks, then a week of finals," I told him. "Dad, I'm not going to have time for a full schedule…"

"Great! That gives us a little bit of prep time to get things worked out before you start officially," Dad went on. "Now I know there's one day you don't have any classes – Tuesday, is it? I'll need you to come in during the morning and plan on lunch at the company café – there are a lot of people who will be working under you, and they need to see your face a few times. After lunch we'll go to the pro shop and get some clubs that are a better fit for you. The ones you were playing with last fall are way too short for my grown up girl!"

Charlie laughed and continued his ramblings for at least ten minutes before I had a chance to say anything.

"Dad – I still have to finish school!" I finally cried out into the phone. "It's the final semester of my masters – I have a thesis to finish and four final exams coming up. I'm not going to be able to be at the office that much, and I certainly won't have time for golf!"

"Oh, Bella," Charlie laughed again. "Don't worry about all that stuff. You know I'm just excited to have you there. I'm going to retire in five years, and there's so much for you to learn before then. I'm just excited the time is finally upon us!"

"I know, Dad."

"How about we stick with just Tuesday morning, and then golf after Sue's luncheon on Sunday? We can go to the pro shop Sunday morning so you'll be all set. That's leaves the whole other five days a week for school, okay?"

"I can't promise you all of Sunday," I told him. "But I will be at lunch, and we can at least do the pro shop and the driving range for an hour, deal?"

"You are one tough negotiator, Bells baby!" Charlie chuckled into the phone. "I can't wait to see you start taking on the board! I'll talk to you Monday."

He hung up before I could protest or even say goodbye. I growled audibly and stomped off into my bedroom to pick out some clean clothes and take a shower. Picking out clothes reminded me that I needed to pack an overnight bag to stay at Edward's, which made me forget all thoughts of my overbearing father and brought the nice butterflies back to my stomach.

The phone was ringing again when I got out of the shower. I ran to it with my towel falling off of me, only to again find it was not Edward, but Lauren. I let it go to voicemail. I definitely wasn't up for that sort of conversation. I went back to my bedroom and stood inside the walk-in closet, trying to decide what to wear. I needed something casual and comfortable, because that fit Edward's apartment perfectly. Definitely no heels. Actually, flip flops were probably as appropriate as anything. I laughed at the thought.

I ended up in dark jeans and a lacy tank top. I refused to admit to the why, even to myself, but I also made sure I picked out some of my nicer Victoria's Secret panties and bra sets. I tossed in a fairly sheer set of pajamas as well, though again – there was no real reason for me to do that. They were just on the top of the drawer, which is why I packed them. Yes, that's why. It's not like I dug around through the more plain ones at all. I didn't. Really.

I pulled my Saab into the parking garage entrance and used the keycard Edward gave me to open the gate. Once inside, I had no idea where to go, but Tyler waved me down and offered to park the car for me in one of Edward's spots. I almost asked how many spots he had, but thought better of it.

The keycard also worked the elevator, and I was soon stepping into the foyer of Edward's penthouse apartment. Everything was pretty much as it had been the night before, except for a cardboard pizza box on the kitchen table with a single piece of mushroom and pineapple pizza in the middle of it. Mushrooms and pineapple? Really? I shook my head. At least there weren't any anchovies, that just might have scared me away. I slipped my pink converse off and set them next to Edward's lime-green ones. I had to laugh a little to myself – the colors looked absolutely horrible together.

"Edward?" I called softly, but didn't see or hear him. I looked out the balcony door, but he wasn't out there smoking. I hovered in the kitchen for a few minutes, hoping he would just appear from somewhere, but when he didn't I decided to look around a bit more.

The first bathroom door was open, and the guest room was empty as I glanced through the doorway while walking up the hall. He wasn't in his bedroom or taking a shower in the master bath. I moved further along the hallway, finding two more guest bedrooms and a study with a desk, a computer, and a small television hanging on the wall. The door across the hall from the study was partially open, and when I peeked through the opening I saw a huge room lined with bookshelves.

It was a library, right here in the penthouse apartment. There had to be thousands and thousands of books. Some up on the top shelf were leather bound and ancient looking, while one whole shelf was dedicated to Danielle Steele paperbacks. There was literally every literary genre represented. There was a large picture window overlooking the city, and one of those large, overstuffed, chair-and-a-half chairs next to a small end table. In the middle of the library, closer to the door than the other chair, was a traditional looking wooden rocking chair, painted white. In the middle of the chair was Edward, sound asleep with his hand on a copy of Frank Herbert's _Dune_, which was lying across his chest. His other arm hung over the arm of the chair, and he nearly grazed the floor with his long, pale fingers.

I pushed the door open the rest of the way, walked up to him and smiled. He didn't stir, and I wondered if I should wake him or let him sleep on. He looked so peaceful and…young…lying there with the paper cover of the hard-bound book curling away from the spine. I wondered why he had it out since he had made it very clear he wouldn't be able to read it. Then I realized why he looked younger – he had shaved, and all the stubble that had covered his face before was no longer blocking my view of his smooth, pale skin. I couldn't help myself, I had to reach over and touch him.

Edward's eyes opened

"Oh shit," he exclaimed. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"What are you doing in here?" I asked.

"Um…not much," he said. He reached his hand up to the back of his head and tossed his hair around a bit and rubbed his eye with his knuckles. "Just kind of hanging out, I guess. I hadn't been in here for a while."

"Edward?" I said softly, and he looked up to me, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Why the book?"

"Oh, um…well…" he stammered. "Shit. Um, it was one of my mom's favorite books. Well, series, really. I think she read them all about twenty times. I always meant to read them, but…well…I guess I waited too long."

"Were you trying to read it now?"

"No, I really can't," he said. "I used to try, but it was way too frustrating. Before the accident I used to fall asleep reading in here all the time. Sometimes when I'm tired but I can't get to sleep, sitting in this chair and holding a book helps me. I used to take sleeping pills, but Rosalie told me they were addictive, and I figure smoking's bad enough as it is. I didn't need to be dependent on anything else, so I stopped talking them. Sometimes I drink chamomile tea – Rosalie makes it and it's really good. It can help a little."

"Who is Rosalie?" I asked, a pang of ridiculous jealously stabbing me in the gut.

"Emmett's girlfriend," he said. I immediately relaxed. "Or fiancée, now, I guess. They're supposed to get married around Christmas this year. She likes to pretend she's taking care of me, and I kind of like having her play mom, so I let her. Is that weird?"

"No," I said quickly and then reconsidered. He was so completely honest, and I wanted to return the favor. "Well, yes – a little, but I think I understand."

"She can't have kids." Edward said softly. "And I don't have a mom, so it worked out for us."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to be insulting or anything. I'm glad there's someone looking out for you."

"We all look out for each other," Edward's smile returned. "Hey! I was going to order Chinese from this Szechuan place around the corner – they don't deliver, but I can pick it up and bring it back. Do you like Chinese? I sent you a picture of the menu to see if you liked Chinese, but I figured the message wasn't all that clear. This is the real stuff, not the Americanized crap. It's spicy though – do you like spicy food?"

Edward ended up ordering Chinese and racing out to pick it up on his bicycle, completely refusing to let me get it in the car. It was incredibly delicious, but a bit hot for my tastes, and I ended up going through about four glasses of water. Throughout dinner we talked more about books and the library in his apartment. It had been his mother's favorite place to be.

"She always read to me there when I was younger," Edward said. "It was just…I don't know…our time together."

"It sounds like you were really close."

"We were," Edward confirmed. "I was close to Dad, too, just not in the same way."

He laughed.

"Emmett says I was a mamma's boy. I don't consider it derogatory, though."

"How long have you known Emmett?"

"He was on track with me in high school," Edward said. "He was there when I got hurt and stayed with me until the ambulance got there. I only remember bits and pieces of it, since I kept passing out. I do remember how glad I was he was there. He was a year older than me and a senior that year. I hadn't even known him before I got hurt, and when I realized he had stayed with me that whole time…well, I was grateful. I guess I was pretty impressed as well. He didn't know me, and he still doesn't know about this place or the accounts at your dad's company. He's just my friend."

"It sound like he helped you through a lot."

"He did," Edward confirmed. "He still does sometimes. Him and Rosalie both. Alice and Jasper, too."

"Do they all live in the same place?"

"Alice lives with her parents," he told me. "She stays there sometimes on the weekend, but her mom gets pissed when she does. She doesn't like Jasper very much, so she makes it kind of hard for Alice. She thinks he's too old for her. Jasper, Rose and Emmett all live there, though."

"How old is Jasper?"

"Twenty-two. Alice was in my class in high school. She's a freshman at the university now. My mom loved Alice. I think she kept waiting for us to admit we were dating, but we never did – we were just friends. We went to a lot of the school dances and shit together, though – at least until senior prom. She met Jasper right before then, but the three of us went together."

"You didn't have a date?"

"Well, I was going to just go with Alice," he said with a shrug. "I wasn't seeing anyone then, and didn't really have time to find another date. It was cool, though – we had a great time and I met Tanya there. She came with a guy named Ben, but Ben really wanted to be there with this other girl and ended up ditching Tanya, so she and I danced together. We went out a couple of times after that, but nothing ever clicked. Not for me, at least."

"Tanya from the restaurant?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Hrm," I mumbled under my breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Bella," Edward said with his eyes narrowed. "Whatever you are thinking, just say it."

I looked up at him and thought about how open and honest he had been with everything he had said since I first met him. Normally, I probably wouldn't have said anything, but when I looked into those intense eyes, it just came out of my mouth without warning.

"I didn't like the way she pawed at you when we got there," I said.

"Pawed at me?" Edward laughed. "Yeah, she is a little touchy-feely."

"Well, I didn't like it."

"You weren't jealous, were you?" Edward gave me a playful, smirking smile, which I immediately turned away from as my face warmed up. He laughed again. "You were!"

"No, I was not," I defended. "I just thought it was rude when you were obviously there with a date."

"Miss Manners probably wouldn't have approved." Edward nodded. "I think my mom would have liked you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because manners were very important to her," he said. "She was always telling me to be careful of what I said and did, because I could affect other people. Then she'd bring out a story book about bullying or something to make her point. I swear she had a kids' book for every social situation there was. Shit, they're probably all still in the library somewhere."

Edward looked down at his hands for a minute, then jumped up and started clearing away the food containers and putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. He was quiet for a while, and I wondered if he was still thinking about his mother, and then I remembered the book he had been holding when I first found him in the library.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like me to…um…read _Dune_ to you?" I asked, not sure if this was really a good idea or not. The offer alone could bring up memories of his mother, and he might have had enough of thinking about her. I could also have been insulting him.

"Are you serious?" Edward turned and stared into my eyes, his expression one of shock.

"Well, yeah," I said. "I mean, if you would like to hear it, anyway. You wouldn't have to, I just thought…"

"Could I hold it while you read it?" he asked, his voice holding the slightest tone of desperation.

"I think that would work."

"Yes, please." Edward's voice was a raspy whisper. I looked closer at him and realized there were tears in his eyes. "No one's ever…um…wow…"

Edward dropped down onto one of the kitchen chairs with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"Yeah," he said, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes. "Shit, I'm sorry – I'm not usually like this. I haven't talked about all of this for a while. I guess it kind of brings it all back."

"Edward, don't apologize." I reached over and took his hands in mine, pulling them away from his face. I leaned in and kissed his tear-stained cheekbone. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

I kissed the other cheek, then his lips. His arms coiled around my waist and he pulled my body up against his.

"Can we start now?" Edward asked.

"Sure," I replied. "If you want to."

"Please," he said.

He grabbed my hand and led me down the hallway to the library. I sat in the oversized chair first, and Edward positioned himself between my legs, scooting himself down a bit so he could rest his head against my shoulder. I slipped one arm underneath Edward's, wrapping it around his side to hold the book. He turned his head to look up and me and smiled a delicious smile – so delicious I had to taste it before I could begin the actual reading.

Edward moved his head back to its place on my shoulder, wrapped his fingers around mine and we held the book together. I turned past the title page to the first chapter.

"_A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct. This every sister of the Bene Gesserit knows…"_

I read for almost two hours before we decided to take a break so Edward could smoke and I could run to the bathroom. I came out of the bathroom and walked in to the great room, raising my arms up over my head and stretching a bit. We had been sitting in one place for a long time, and I was a little sore. I saw the large glass of water left over from dinner still sitting on the kitchen table and went to quench my dry-from-reading throat.

The sliding door of the balcony opened and Edward came back in, tossed his pack of cigarettes on the table near the couch and came up behind me. His fingers trailed over my sides and around my stomach.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank you enough for that," he said, placing his chin on my shoulder.

"You don't have to," I told him. "I love reading, and I'd never read that one before."

"It really means a lot to me." Edward hugged my back against his chest, and I felt his lips against the top of my shoulder.

"Well, we aren't that far into it yet," I said. I placed my hands over his, still resting on my stomach. "We still have lots more reading to do."

"I'm glad," he said, and he kissed my neck. "You should probably take a break, though. You want to watch something and rest your voice? I didn't know if you had seen any of the movies I sent you pictures of, but we could watch one of them."

"I'm all right," I told him. "I wouldn't mind a reading break though. You want to just sit for a bit?"

"Sure," he said. He grabbed a can of Coke out of the fridge, added more ice to my water and plopped down on one of the bean bag chairs.

"So what's up with the chairs?" I asked, giggling a little. "They don't really match the rest of the décor."

"Yeah, I know." Edward blushed. "I got them because I always wanted bean bag chairs, and Mom and Dad would never let me get any. Mom thought they were bad for your back or something, which I always thought was bullshit. Anyway, when I went to buy them, I started feeling guilty – I was still dealing with a lot of guilt then – and decided to get pink ones. Pink was my mom's favorite color. You can probably tell from all the pink shit around here."

"I did wonder a bit." I smiled. Edward reached his hands above his head and stretched, much like I had a minute ago. When he did, I saw more of the tattoo up his arm.

"Edward, could I ask you something?"

"Sure," he responded. "Anything."

"Well…um…I can see you have tattoos. I was just wondering what they were, and maybe what they meant, if anything?"

"Oh yeah, sure," Edward said and immediately grasped the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it over his head.

Oh my…_wow_.

Teenager or not, Edward without a shirt looked mighty fine. His shoulders were broad, and the muscles in his arms and shoulders were simply divine. I walked over in front of him and knelt down to get a better look. A better look at the tattoos, of course. Well, and maybe of his shoulders. And his abs. His chest was nice, too. Oh my…_double wow_. His nipples were pierced. They both had silver hoops that were slightly larger than the other ones.

Edward turned sideways a little to give me a better view of his bicep muscles…err…the arm and shoulder tattoo. The tail, as I had expected, belonged to a dragon. It curled around his bicep and met with the body and claws up around his shoulder, while the neck curved over the top of his shoulder to the head splayed over his right pectoral. The lettering right underneath the spiked tail read _Carpe Diem_. The other tattoo up near the left side of his chest was of a stylized pair of roses: one was large, with the smaller one beneath it. A ribbon wrapped around the stems with the names _Carlisle_ and _Esme _scripted right over his heart. I reached out and stroked the image of the roses for a moment before looking up into Edward's eyes.

"That one is pretty self-explanatory," he said with a shrug. I nodded in response. "The dragon just reminded me of Dad, because he loved dragons in every form – books, paintings, movies – whatever. And it's over my shoulder because he was always coming up behind me and watching whatever I was doing. It also makes me feel likes he's still watching me, you know?"

"That makes sense," I said. I ran my fingers up his arm and followed the path of the tail until I reached the dragon's head, then my fingers headed back down again to the lettering. "Carpe Diem."

"It's pretty much my motto." Edward smiled. "Tomorrow is too much of an unknown. If there's something you want to do, always do it today."

"I don't think I've ever really looked at tattoos up close," I said. "They're more colorful than I thought they would be."

"It depends on the design," Edward said. "Some are, some aren't."

"When did you get these?"

"I got the roses on my eighteenth birthday, because I couldn't get it before then," he said. "The dragon was about a year later. I saw it in a tattoo artist book of Jasper's and took it into the tattoo place near their apartment. Like I said – it reminded me of Dad."

"Did you get your piercings there, too?"

"No," Edward said. His fingers reached up to his right ear. "I got them the year after my parents died. I had kind of a breakthrough – I was still in weekly therapy then – when I finally let go of all the guilt I was feeling just for being alive when they weren't. I realized they had already taught me everything I needed to know, I just needed to figure out how to apply it to my life."

"Are the rings significant, too?" I asked, hoping I wasn't pressing too much. He nodded.

"These three are me and my parents together," Edward said, letting his fingers glide over the three silver rings in his right earlobe. He pulled each of them out of his ear, and showed me the names engraved inside of each ring – _Edward, Carlisle, Esme_. He put them back through the holes in his ears in the same order, and then moved his hand over to his left brow, where the single ring was. "This one is me, alone. It's up on my head, because I had to learn to think for myself and make my own decisions, even if they weren't what everyone else wanted me to do."

I had to swallow hard at the thought of him considering himself to be so alone. I found myself wishing I had been there when it happened, so I could have helped him through it at the time.

"These," Edward said, placing the tips of his fingers against his bottom lip, covering the rings there, "are my parents again, because as long as their names are on my lips and their memory in my heart, they'll always be with me. I'm a little into symbolism, I guess."

"Edward that's…beautiful," I whispered. I blinked a couple of times to push back the tears threatening to form.

"Thanks," he said, blushing again. He twiddled with the rings on his lips and then looked up at me. "I have something else here that's beautiful."

"What's that?" I asked.

"You," he replied, and pulled my face to his. His lips molded against mine and his arms came around my waist. I felt his hands press into my back, holding me against his bare chest. I opened my mouth to him, and his tongue reached gently inside, caressing my tongue and leaving me breathless. I slipped my fingers over his bare arms, up to his shoulders and over his neck before I grabbed a hold of his hair and pulled him closer to me. He moaned against my mouth.

"That really feels good," he said when he broke away from me. "I don't know why, but it does."

"This?" I asked, tugging at his hair again.

"Yeah," he said with another moan. He kissed me again, and again, and pretty soon we were making out on the bean bag chair again, just like the night before. I had the added bonus of having a shirtless Edward, and it wasn't long before I had to explore more of his torso with my fingers. Starting with his shoulders, I trailed my fingers down across his pectorals. He grunted against my mouth as my fingers glanced over both of his nipples, gently touching the silver rings running through them. I let my little finger slide through the loop of one.

"Are these symbolic as well?" I asked against his lips.

"Um…no." Edward looked away, and then glanced back at me through his lashes. The blush I was starting to fall head over heel for came back. "They just feel good."

"They do, huh?" I smiled and tugged on the ring – just a little – wondering if he'd like that the same way he liked it when I tugged on his hair.

"Jesus, Bella!" Edward breathed. He reached up and pulled my face back to his, kissing me hard. I guess I would have to take that as a _yes_.

I released the ring from the tip of my pinkie before lowering both of my hands to find his abs. His skin was smooth and warm underneath my fingers. Every time I hit a sensitive spot, he'd let out a little sound and pause in his kisses for a moment before continuing on.

My legs were getting a little tired holding myself up over top of him, so I crawled into the chair with him and lowered myself onto his lap, my knees on either side of his hips. As soon as I dropped down I could feel him, long and hard between my legs. It was my turn to gasp into his mouth.

"Sorry," Edward murmured into my mouth. "When you had your hands on me…pulling the ring…just couldn't help it."

There I was, in a pink bean bag chair in the penthouse apartment with a billionaire teenager's erection between my legs. This was insane. Absolutely insane. My friends would completely freak out if they knew what I was doing. My father would probably have a massive coronary and maybe write me out of the will. He had tattoos and his nipples were pierced, for the love of all that is holy. He was so far removed from every guy I had ever dated he couldn't even be considered in the same species. He was a college dropout, had brain damage, was much too young for me and…and…and…

And none of that shit mattered, because it was Edward.

I opened my eyes to his and backed away from his lips. He was looking back at me with that shy half smile and sparkling, bright eyes. His tongue darted out and touched the rings in his lip, and his cheeks warmed with blood. While still looking at him, I ground myself against him and watched his eyes get wide and his mouth drop open. He swallowed hard and then grabbed my hips, holding me still.

"Shit, Bella…"

I rocked forward again, still looking into his eyes as his hands gripped my hips a little harder in an attempt to keep me from moving. I didn't want to stop, though. It had been quite some time, the sensation was entirely too good, and damn if he didn't feel pretty well endowed as well. I wanted to know for sure if I was right about that. I leaned over his chest and put my lips up close to his ear.

"You don't have to apologize for this," I said softly while rotating my hips a little. "It feels pretty good, if you ask me."

Edward pushed hard on my hips, effectively sliding me back to the middle of his thighs so I wasn't pushing down against his erection any longer. I tried to look at him innocently through my eyelashes, but I knew I wasn't able to pull it off. His eyes became wide and dark as he looked at me.

While his eyes were still locked on mine, I reached down, past his abs and grazed my fingers over his length. Make that his considerable length. Holy shit, if he wasn't packing some serious heat in there. While I was distracted by my revelation, I barely heard Edward gasp before I felt myself twirling and falling. I didn't even realize what had happened until I was on my back next to the bean bag chair with Edward on top of me.

Edward's eyes were intense and dark, staring down at me from where he suspended himself by his arms with his hands placed on either side of my head. I watched his throat bob as he swallowed before leaning over and running his tongue over my parted lips. He moved over my chin and down my neck, leaving a cool trail to tell me where had been. He shifted slightly, and one of his hands ran along the outside of my arm to my shoulder. His fingers started to stroke downwards, but then he stopped and looked up to me, his eyes glanced down, and then back up again – hesitant and a little wary.

He was blushing again and seemed so unsure; I decided if I wanted to get better acquainted with just how well endowed Edward may be, I was going to have to make a move. One thing I knew for certain – I wanted to find out just a bit more about him. Maybe a lot more. I decided subtlety was not in my best interest, so I reached down and pulled my shirt up and over my head.

Edward's eyes went wide of a moment and then narrowed as he tilted his head and focused lower. I was incredibly glad I had decided on the matching blue bra and panties set, since it was obviously something he seemed to appreciate. His fingers finally made their way down, tracing over the edge of the laced fabric.

"I feel like I ought to just drop to my knees and worship them," Edward blurted out and then turned just one shade lighter than the bean bag chair. "You are amazing, Bella. All of you. I don't…shit…I want…"

He stopped and swallowed hard again.

"What is it, Edward?"

"I'd really like to take you to bed now," Edward said softly. His eyes were still dark, and his stare too intense. I had to look away for a moment, and I heard him swear under his breath. "We don't have to, if it's too soon…I just thought…"

"Yes, please," I said quickly, realizing my lack of eye contact had given him the entirely wrong impression. I looked back up to him and took a deep breath. "Carpe diem."

Edward's eyes lit up and his smile was right behind. He pushed himself up onto his knees and pulled me with him until we were standing. He placed his hands on the side of my face, kissed me once, and then scooped me up in his arms and literally ran down the hallway to the bedroom while his lips tried to find new places to explore on my neck. He paused when he reached the side of the bed where we had slept the night before and gazed down on me apprehensively. He slowly turned me upright and stood me next to the bed before taking my face in his hands and kissing me briefly.

"This is moving pretty fast," he said softly. "I'm having a little trouble grasping onto my own motto, and I want to make sure you really want this. I don't usually…I mean, what I said yesterday about how long it has been…I mean…shit."

"It's okay, Edward," I told him. "You don't have to tell me about that."

"I don't want you to think I do this all the time," he said quietly, his gaze softening. "I'm not a man-whore, and I've never slept with a girl I met two days ago before. I really want to be with you though. I really, really do."

"I want to be with you too," I said.

"Really?"

"I do, Edward," I confirmed, scaring myself a little when I realized how much I meant it. "I'm not in the habit of sleeping with men I just met, either. I don't know why it's different with you…"

_Because it's Edward._

And that made all the difference, because he was different. I could tell him no, that we should wait, but I was still going to want him the next night and the next. A week from now, a month from now, a year from now – I was still going to want him. Waiting wasn't going to change anything. It was time to seize the day.

"It's because it's you," we both said at the same time. I looked up at him, shocked we had both said the same thing. Edward's thumb stroked over my bottom lip. and his eyes held understanding.

"I want you." His mouth found the spot right below my ear, and I groaned as he sucked at the skin there and held me close to him. I trailed my fingers up his bare back and felt him shiver against me. Edward's hand ran from my waist up to my shoulder and then back down again, pausing in the middle to deftly unhook my bra. I lowered my arms and let it fall to the floor.

Once it was out of my way, I placed my hand flat against Edward's stomach, ran my fingers over the tight muscles there, and then reached the top button of his jeans. Edward removed his lips from mine for a moment and watched my fingers release each of the buttons of the fly in turn. I hooked my thumbs at the waistband near his hips and pushed the jeans down. I barely paused before doing the same with the black boxer-briefs underneath. I just wanted to see him.

I was definitely not disappointed.

He wasn't huge or anything, but certainly bigger than average. I never thought I'd use the word _beautiful_ to describe a penis, but his was. It was long and hard, and when I felt the softness of the skin wrapped around it and saw the glistening head I couldn't help but run my hand up and down his length, my thumb wrapping around the tip and spreading the moisture I found back down the shaft.

"If you keep doing that," Edward panted, "I'm going to come in your hand. I don't really want to do that just yet."

"Hmm…" I smiled slyly up at him. "Maybe later."

"You are going to take me over the edge, aren't you?" Edward murmured. His fingers made quick work of my buttons, and he managed to hook both my jeans and panties at the same time, drawing them slowly down my legs and to the floor. I stepped out of them, and he walked towards me, pushing me backwards until the backs of my knees hit the edge of the bed. I lay back, and he crawled over top of me, his mouth seeking mine.

Edward's lips found their way down over my chin, down my neck and between the valley of my breasts. He glanced up at me and smiled again before tilting to one side and rolling one of my nipples around with his tongue. I moaned and arched my back as he took it fully into his mouth and sucked and licked at my nipple. His hand found the other one and he rolled it between two fingers for a minute, then switched and sucked on the other one as well. I felt his hand run over my breast, then drop lower across my stomach.

My thighs tensed, and I tried to keep my hips from backing as he moved south, running his fingers over my pubic hair and then around to the side, not touching me where I wanted him. I moaned again, but this time in protest. Edward chuckled and traced small circles on my inner thigh before he moved back up again.

His fingers slid down between my legs, running along the outside of my labia, and then finding entrance to the folds of flesh covering my core. He teased me with the tip of his finger over my entrance, gathering the moisture there and sliding it upwards, around my clitoris.

"Edward…oh, yeah…"

"You like that?" he whispered with his lips still wrapped around my nipple. He dipped back down into my folds, then to the top again, circling that most sensitive spot again before he moved back down. "You're so wet, Bella. Are you wet for me?"

"Yes…please…"

"Did you get wet just thinking about my cock?" he asked, and I inhaled sharply. His words were affecting me almost as much as his touch. "Did you know how hard you were making me out there? Running your hands over my tats? Did you know what you were doing to me? All I could think about was getting inside of you. Is that what you wanted? Did you want me so hard I couldn't think straight?"

I made some sort of incoherent sound. I couldn't find any actual words.

"Well, it fucking worked, I can tell you that."

A chill raced up my torso as Edward pulled his hand away and rolled over to the other side of the bed. I whimpered for a moment and then heard a drawer open and the tearing of cardboard packaging. Edward rolled back with a condom in his hand, tearing the foil wrapper with his teeth as he collided with my side. I giggled, and he blushed.

"Did you buy those earlier today?" I teased.

"Um…I, uh…" Edward mumbled. "I didn't think….I mean…shit…there is no way for me to answer that question without getting into trouble, is there?"

"Probably not." I chuckled and shook my head. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"You just said that to get a reaction out of me, didn't you?" he asked, his eyes narrowed a little. I bit down on my lip and shrugged my shoulders.

Edward looked into my eyes, placed his lips softly against mine, then that particular smile that was always threatening to make me wet appeared. As if I needed the help now. Then he winked…actually _winked_ at me as he reached down and stroked himself slowly from base to tip and back again before unrolling the condom over his length. With a light touch, his hand ran up the inside of my thigh, and his fingers traced around my entrance before slowly guiding his tip to me.

"You're sure, aren't you?" he said while his eyes begged me not to make him stop. I nodded quickly, because there was nothing I wanted more. I lifted my leg up and wrapped it around his hip, giving him a better angle.

He sank into me…so…so…slowly…his eyes never straying from mine. I felt myself stretch to let him inside, my body moving in tandem with his until the union mirrored perfection. It felt like it took forever before he was completely inside of me – and it was the best forever I had ever felt in my life.

It wasn't because he was big, though that was also quite nice. It wasn't because of his slow penetration and intense stare. It wasn't even because of how insanely beautiful he was hovered over top of me and looking down at me like he just might have me for dessert.

It was just because it was him.

His hips shifted back almost as slowly, then he pushed forward again. I looked down, watching the place where our bodies met as he slowly impaled me over and over again.

"Oh…mmm…Edward…my God…" I heard a variety of mumbled curses and prayers come out of my mouth as he thoroughly made me completely and totally his.

"You are so fucking hot," Edward breathed warm air into my ear. "Every time I look at you…and you're looking down where you can see me inside of you…so fucking hot. Do you like watching?"

"Yes…oh, God…Edward…" I groaned and bucked up against him, meeting each of his slow, purposeful thrusts and watching his considerable length move in and out of me. "So good…"

"I could come just watching you," he said. He pulled out of me slowly until the tip of his cock was just barely inside my entrance, and then slowly pushed back into me until he filled me completely. "So fucking hot."

"I want you on top," he moaned into my ear. "I want to see you on top of me…I want to watch you fucking me…"

"Yes," I said. I felt my breathing increase and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. "Please."

"Mmm…" Edward's tongue traced over the edge of my ear, then down my throat. "I like that. Say please again."

"Please…Edward…"

"Please what?"

"Please…I want to fuck you…" I grabbed his chin and turned his head to face me. I crushed my lips to his and bucked up against him. "I want to ride you."

"So fucking hot…"

Our bodies rolled together, Edward holding tight to my hips and pushing hard against me to make sure he didn't slip out. I sat up, straddled across his hips with him still deep inside and looked down into his eyes as he looked back up to me. His eyes sparkled, and his breath came out of his slightly parted lips in short pants. His fingertips trailed up my sides, tickling a little before they moved around to the front and cupped my breasts. His thumbs rolled in circles around my nipples, sending a streak of electricity to my clit.

I leaned back a bit more, feeling the pressure building inside of me as the angle changed and Edward's eyes squeezed shut. I couldn't help but smile down at him – his eyes clenched, his jaw set, and his chest moving rapidly with his breaths. I reached down and placed my palms against his chest, running my fingers over his nipple rings. Edward groaned in response, and I felt his hand sneak between us, reaching for my clit. I used the leverage to raise myself up until only the tip was still inside of me, then slowly lowered myself back down until he was again buried to the hilt.

"Christ, Bella…you feel so fucking good…so warm…"

Edward's first two fingers circled around, bringing me closer to the edge as I increased the pace. He spread his fingers apart and turned his hand around, placing his palm flat against my pubic bone while also adding stimulus around the outside, right next to where we were connected. It was more than enough to send me over the edge. The sensation was building up to the point where I could feel it in my legs as they tightened on either side of his hips. I leaned forward, grinding against his hand, which in turn put the much needed pressure against my clit. I felt all of my muscles tense around his shaft, pulling him deeper into me as I came all around him, crying out and tossing my head back.

"Oh…my…God, Bella!" Edward screamed out, his words staccato gasps from his throat. "Oh! Shit! Fuck! Bella!"

His hands tensed and pulled me flush to him, his body giving off one more final shudder. He was holding his breath, as he tensed and pulsed inside of me, and eventually let it out in one long, slow exhale. His fingers slowly released their grip, and he rolled us both to our sides carefully, reaching between us to grip the edge of the condom before pulling out slowly.

He tied it expertly and tossed it into the wastebasket on the other side of the nightstand before rolling back and wrapping one arm around my waist. He propped himself up with the other arm and gazed down at me for a moment, his jade eyes lightening to display his playful side. He leaned down and nipped his lips across the line of my jaw. I reached up to tug at his hair. Within a couple of minutes, we were making out again, and I could feel his increased breath on my skin. He pulled his mouth away and touched his forehead to mine.

"Bella," Edward panted against my mouth. "Could I ask you something?"

"Sure," I responded.

"Would you think I was out of my mind if I asked you to move in with me?"

"Yes," I replied with a chuckle, "I would."

"Would you consider moving in with a crazy guy, then?"

"I have no idea why you would even say that," I said, giggling. Though I would be the first to admit that sex with Edward was undoubtedly the best I had ever had, I wasn't about to just move in with anyone. In the past, I hadn't even been able to handle having a female roommate.

"I like having you here," Edward said. He tightened his grip a little. "I actually like being _here _again, which I haven't in a long time. You make this place feel alive, and I really want you to be here all the time."

"Edward, I can't move in with you!"

"Can't?" he questioned. "Are you afraid of breaking your lease? Somehow I don't think the financial part of it concerns you."

"No, I'm not worried about that," I said. My mind flittered back to the feelings I had in my apartment. "Edward, we just met! How could you even consider asking me to move in with you?"

"I know enough about you and what kind of person you are," he said. "I know I want you to be here. What difference would it make it I waited six months or a year to ask you?"

"Maybe you won't like me in six months," I retorted. "You may not like me in six days."

"Do you think it will be more difficult for you to move out seven days from now than it would be seven months from now? People who have known and dated each other for years sometimes move in together or get married or whatever, and still split up later. Shit happens. Shit could happen today or next year, but it will still be shit."

I had to laugh at that one, and he returned the crooked smile and started kissing up my jaw again.

"Think about it?" he asked, blowing soft warm air against my ear.

"Not fair," I said. "Anything I say now would be considered under the influence."

"Under the influence of what?"

"Edward Cullen's lips."

He laughed and started up the other side of my face.

"Please?" he whispered when he reached my other ear. "Please think about it?"

"I'll consider thinking about it," I agreed.

"Good enough for now," he decided.

I wondered if I had only said that in order to appease him. Would I really consider doing such a thing? Aside from the fact that I quite liked my own apartment – at least usually I did – moving in with someone five years younger than me, wasn't it? Besides, I liked having my own personal space and things that were strictly mine. Even if I didn't consider any of that, I had known this man for a whopping day and a half.

But I knew him. I really, really knew him. Even after such a short time, I felt like I knew him better than any man I had ever known in my life. Maybe I could consider moving in here, with him. I had to admit the idea of waking up just like I had this morning was very, very tempting. Perhaps I would consider doing something so completely out of character for my normal, think-things-through self and jump on an opportunity that just _felt_ right. Maybe I would do something just a little bit spontaneous and seize the day.

Maybe I would live a little.

* * *

**Chapter End notes:**

Do you think she's going to move in with him? Forgetting this is Edward, would YOU move in with him? Hit review and let me know!

There should only be one chapter left, but lord knows I can't seem to actually do what I say I'm going to do with this one. If everyone still likes it, maybe it will get longer. I don't know at this point. :)

...

For more information on Judging Books and my other work, visit the blog at http:/shaysavage(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

Follow on twitter - savage7289 - for occasional updates and babbling. Well, mostly babbling.


	4. Resolutions Pt 1

**Author's Notes:**

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just piddling in her pool.

Sorry for the delays. This is the first part of chapter three. Part two will go up soon.

Again, thanks to DK for the beta reading, and to Mariamaral & StAngelS for coming up with the plot! :)

* * *

**Chapter Three - Resolutions (part 1)  
**

Six times.

We had sex six times between last night and this morning.

Being with a nineteen-year-old had its perks.

I had to practically hose Edward down to get myself out of his apartment and back to my car in the garage. He asked me to move in with him – or to at least think about it – when we were eating breakfast and again when I was trying to leave. I had refused to answer him.

Would it be so bad?

"Get a grip, Isabella," I snapped at myself. My mind had been jumping back and forth constantly the entire drive back. Move in with someone I just met? Not a chance. Aside from the flack I would get from my family and friends, it was just a completely stupid move. There were at least a thousand reasons not to do it – the first three being D-A-D – and the only reason I could think of to go ahead with it was because the sex was fantabulous. I started mumbling to myself as I unlocked my apartment door. "Mind-blowing sex does not mean move in together."

I wrapped the strap to my bag around the hook by the door and stomped into the kitchen to get myself a glass of wine. My cell phone buzzed in my purse, and I realized I didn't want to talk to anyone who might be calling, even if it was Edward. Talking to him was just far too…

Dangerous?

Tempting?

I didn't know, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know right at that moment. One thing I did know was that I would have rather stayed at his place another night, but I really needed to get some school work done, and that just wasn't going to happen there. I downed my glass of wine quickly and then poured another. I yanked some books out of my bag and tried to do some of the reading I needed to complete for my next thesis chapter, but after a half hour, I had read the same three sentences fourteen times and still had no idea what they meant.

After a big sigh and another glass of wine, I finally opened up my phone as saw it had only been a text message from Lauren.

_You missed an awesome party. Call me._

There was no way I was going to talk to her right now. I was on edge, confused and moody, which she would notice right away and start with the barrage of questions I didn't want to answer. Lauren was the most dangerous of my entire social group, because I swear the woman was able to contact twenty six people in about four minutes if there was something she considered gossip-worthy to spread around. When James and I had split up, I had sent her a text message on my way out of his apartment. He lived about an hour away, and by the time I arrived at the place I shared with Lauren at the time, there were about seventy people at my place, dancing and toasting to my new found freedom.

Okay, so Lauren hadn't been fond of James, and with good reason. But still, my mom called while I was pulling into the driveway to make sure I was all right. I told one person, and in under an hour everyone I had ever known knew I was single again. It was annoying, to say the least. My preference would be to keep this information from Lauren all together, at least until I could talk to my dad…

Yeah right. And say what?

Growling audibly at myself, I went to the kitchen, dropped and broke the wineglass in the sink, nearly burst into tears trying to clean it up, and then stomped off to take a shower. As the hot water poured over me and my mind drifted back to earlier that morning, I started thinking about Edward. I thought about his head resting back on my shoulder as I read to him, and about the French toast he made for breakfast – twice. His complete forthrightness and honesty was so out of the ordinary, I couldn't help but admire how easily it seemed to come from him. He was sweet, adorable, intelligent, and absolutely the most incredibly gorgeous individual I had ever seen in my life.

I stepped out of the shower and started to towel off. When I glanced in the mirror, I noticed I was smiling. I felt a lot more relaxed, and I didn't think it had anything to do with the shower itself. Just thinking about how we had spent our time together had calmed me down. Even though I had been naked in the shower, always a prime place for a little self pleasure, I hadn't even thought about sex with him. My teeth dug into my bottom lip, and I felt a new wave of panic come over me.

It wasn't about the sex.

Oh shit, what had I gotten myself into?

…

"Are we going out tonight?" Lauren asked. She tapped her pencil on the desktop repeatedly as Professor Banner walked up and down the aisles, handing out stapled packs of papers.

"I'm not sure," I said, hoping to dodge the question all together. She'd been pressing me about my weekend all morning – where had I been, why hadn't I joined them at the club, etcetera. I really didn't want to get into it with Lauren. For starters, she just wasn't going to understand, and as soon as she heard a guy's name, she was going to want every little detail. How was I supposed to explain I spent the entire weekend with a brain-damaged, teenaged guy I just met? Yeah, that would go over well. Besides, she would want to meet him, interrogate him to find his weaknesses and then start exploiting them.

"Well, I know Jacob's tending bar, Jessica's planning on being there, and probably Sam and a few of his crowd…you blew us off all weekend, I would think you'd at least come by for one. What's everyone going to think if you suddenly stop hanging when you're expected to be there?"

"Maybe," I said, noncommittally. Professor Banner dropped one of the study plans for the economics final on my desk, and I started gathering up my books. "I'd like to get started on the study guide – this final is going to be a bitch. It is a Monday, not a Friday, you know."

"Who cares?" Lauren rolled her eyes at me. She tossed her things in her bag and wrapped it around her shoulder. We filed through the classroom door and down the hall. "You could skip the final and still graduate at this point. You have your job, so why waste time studying?"

"Because if I don't ace the final, I don't end up with an _A_," I said. "And I rather like my GPA right where it is, thank you."

"One drink, Bella!" Lauren knocked shoulders with me as we headed out the door and down the steps to the courtyard. "You have time for…"

I didn't hear the rest of her sentence. At the bottom of the stairs – balanced on his bicycle and smoking a cigarette in all his beautiful, teenage glory – was Edward. Our eyes met, and he graced me with _that smile_.

"Hey," he said – or maybe he just mouthed it. I couldn't hear him over Lauren's chatter. I glanced over at her, but she was looking off in the other direction and apparently hadn't noticed him. I was only three steps from the bottom, and I'd have to either stop or walk right past him. I had no idea what I should do. I wasn't expecting him to actually show up here – on campus! I wasn't prepared. What was I going to tell Lauren? She was definitely going to grill me, regardless. Good lord, there was no telling what she might say to him right in front of me! Would she notice how young he was, or would she not even get past the piercings and tattoos? I couldn't even think about the cigarette and the fact that he was on a bicycle. Shit, Lauren would have a fucking field day if she found out I had spent the weekend with him. I was going to be torn apart if I even acknowledged that I knew him. I wondered what he would do if I just walked right past him and pretended I didn't see him. Of course, we had already made eye contact, so there was no way I could do that…not without hurting him.

I hesitated a moment, having absolutely no idea what I should do, and then ended up stopping at the bottom of the stairs – caught in my own indecision. Edward twisted sideways and dropped off the bicycle seat before reaching out and hugging me against his chest. I hadn't even considered that he might do something like that. I stiffened and glanced quickly over at Lauren, who appeared to be trying to catch flies with her wide open mouth. Edward immediately let go, his smile disappearing.

"I was going to call, but I figured you would be in class," he said. "I would have sent you a text, but my friends are all at work now, and I didn't have anyone who could help me write it."

Oh shit, I couldn't believe he said that. I wasn't ready to deal with this – I just wasn't.

"That's okay," I said. I looked over at Lauren and her bug-eyes, staring first at Edward, then at me, and then back at Edward again. I really, really hoped she was not so much on her game that she caught the meaning of his last comment.

"Bella?" Lauren bumped into my arm again. "Are you going to introduce me to your…_friend_?"

"Of course," I said quickly. I could feel my face getting hotter. "Lauren, this is Edward. Edward, this is my friend, Lauren. She's in my economics class. Lauren – I'm going to head on over to the library now and get started on the study guide. If I have time and I'm not too tired, I'll try to catch up with you guys at the club later."

_As if_, I thought, but at least it might get her off my back.

"Hey, Lauren," Edward said with a smile. She definitely noticed that, since her eyes bugged out even more.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Edward. How long have you known our Bella here?"

_Our?_ How many people did she think she was? I really, _really_ wasn't prepared to deal with this. I definitely couldn't do this now, and definitely not starting with Lauren, of all people. She could be absolutely vicious, and anything she discovered would be known by every man, woman and grandparent in our social circle within an hour. I needed a quick escape.

"We met just a couple of days ago," Edward said, blushing. He tossed a shy glance at me, and his tongue popped out to spin his lip rings in a circle. He practically had "my dick's been in her pussy" sketched across his forehead. Oh dear lord, she would eat him alive if he kept that up. I would, of course, be her dessert.

"Did you now?" Lauren turned her syrupy-sweet smile on me. "Bella hasn't mentioned you."

"Oh, well…um…" Edward glanced at me sideways, and then looked down at the ground. His tongue popped out and ran over his lip rings again. His left hand reached up behind his neck and rubbed at the back of his head, sending his hair flying all over the place in the light spring breeze.

Shit.

"Lauren, I really need to get going…"

"Maybe Edward can join us at the club this evening?" Lauren pressed. My eyes widened in shock. There was no way she would invite him somewhere without a completely devious plan in her head. I absolutely, positively had to get both of us away from her as quickly as possible.

"Which club?" Edward asked.

"Club Twilight," Lauren said, increasing her smile to the point of looking rather maniacal. There was no way Edward could get in there, and I could tell by her expression that she knew it. She was definitely doing this on purpose.

"Oh…um…I think that place is twenty-one and up," Edward said.

"Well, yeah!" Lauren laughed. "It's bad enough we have to put up with the older undergrads! I like a place that doesn't allow any children."

"Yeah, well…" Edward glanced over at me again. "I'm not an undergrad, at least, but I think I'll pass. Thanks anyway."

"Lauren, I told you I had studying to do…"

"You said _maybe_, Bella," Lauren snarked back at me, raising her eyebrows. "Is there anything else you want to _discuss_? Maybe your friend here can fill me in on where you were all weekend, hmm?"

"Drop it, Lauren," I growled through closed lips. My heart was beating so fast she could probably hear it through my chest. "I need to get to the library, and you need to get to your management techniques class."

"Well, we'll just have to continue this later, won't we?" Lauren turned on the insane clown smile again. "It was truly a pleasure, _Edward_. Maybe will see you at the club in a few years?"

She started laughing hysterically as she sauntered off with her high heeled boots clicking against the sidewalk. I glared after her of a minute, and then tried to get my bearings. Even with her now out of the immediate picture, I didn't know what to do next. I glanced around the courtyard, making sure I wasn't going to get ambushed by anyone else I knew.

"You didn't want her to know," Edward said as soon as Lauren was out of earshot. He was looking at her retreating form, and not looking at me at all.

"Ignore her," I said quickly.

"That is probably good advice," Edward agreed, finally turning to me. His eyes were dark, and his voice took on a level of venom that didn't seem at all right coming out of his beautiful mouth. "Do you ever take your own advice to heart?"

"What does that mean?" Even as I said it, I knew exactly what he was indicating.

"Obviously, you don't ignore her." Edward stopped and turned towards me, his darkened eyes narrowed a little. "You were embarrassed. You didn't want her to see me."

"Edward, it's not like that," I started. What was it like? I didn't know what to say. "You're just …a little hard to explain."

"Why?"

"Lauren won't even recognize you as human if you aren't a member of her father's country club," I explained. I sounded frantic. I _was_ frantic. How could I explain someone like Lauren to him? It's not like I could do or say anything to make her less nasty. If I had been prepared, I might have been able to say something to her that wouldn't have made this so awfully awkward, but he hadn't given me the chance.

"I don't really give a shit what she thinks," Edward said. The tone of his voice had turned hard, the venom gone and replaced with something…worse. Something cold and nearly emotionless. "You being embarrassed of me means something, though."

"Edward, I'm not…" I couldn't even finish the complete thought, because I knew on some level it was true. Not necessarily embarrassment, but the idea of my friends seeing me with Edward was pretty frightening. All the questions they would ask – age, tattoos, lip rings, for the love of God – I wasn't ready to volley all those questions just yet. I hadn't prepared any answers.

"It's okay," he said quickly and suddenly. "I get it. Sorry to waste your time."

Edward was on his bike and pedaling away before I could even get a word out of my mouth. He was nothing more than a speck in the distance before it even occurred to me to call after him. My chest tightened, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe. Half an hour later, I realized I was still standing in the same spot.

…

Seventeen voice mails. I had no idea how many times I had tried to call in the past few hours and not bothered to leave a message – too many to count. He hadn't called back. I had considered texting him, but he would only know what they said if someone read them to him, and I really didn't want anyone else reading what I wanted to say.

I was a complete and total idiot.

After Edward had taken off, I could no longer breathe right. What I had said…or done…or not said or done…I didn't even know exactly what it was, but it was awful. He thought I was embarrassed to be seen with him. He thought I didn't want my friends to meet him. He had been right.

I was, simply put, a horrible person. I liked Edward – I liked him a lot, and I had probably just ruined any chances we might have had because I was afraid of what my friends were going to think of him. I was even worse than Lauren, because he didn't know her, and she didn't know him. He hadn't poured his heart out to her while sitting in a pink bean bag chair, and he hadn't been in bed with her less than twenty-four hours ago.

Tyler had greeted me cordially enough at the elevator to Edward's apartment, but told me immediately that Edward wasn't there. He had to have known I still had a key to the place, but it was pretty clear he had been told not to let me back in.

It had only been three days since I had first laid eyes on him, and I had no idea where to even begin to look for him. The only place I had been with him was the penthouse apartment where he said he rarely ever spent the night. I knew he stayed with friends on the lower west side, but exactly where was a mystery to me. If he was going to continue to refuse my phone calls, I had no other way of finding him. The phone was still ringing constantly – but the calls were from various friends, and not Edward. I knew what the rest of them were calling about, and I let every one of them go to voice mail.

With tears still running down my face, I half walked, half ran down The Quarter, the small section of restaurants and bars just a block from campus where all the students hung out in between classes. My apartment was located on the other side of The Quarter, where all the most affluent grad students congregated together to avoid the rest of the riff-raff. I had been afraid to go into the building itself, since I was bound to see someone I knew, and they were bound to have already heard from Lauren by now. After failing to find Edward at his place, I had parked my car around the corner and was walking rather aimlessly down the side of the street, sticking to the area right next to the buildings and hoping no one would see me. As I went past the walk-up window of a restaurant, the smell of fresh pizza shimmied up my nostrils and reminded me of dinner with Edward.

Within about four seconds of inhaling the delicious scent, I went from crying harder from the memory to the joy of revelation – the restaurant workers all knew Edward. They would be able to tell me how to find him. I turned on my heel, ran smack into a scrawny, geeky guy with an armload of textbooks, spent a couple minutes helping him pick them up, and then ran straight for the nearest subway station.

Forty minutes later, I walked through the alley where Edward had parked his bicycle for our first date, considered using the kitchen door, thought better of it, and decided to walk around to the front instead. It was getting late, and the restaurant would likely be closing soon. The same blonde was at the hostess' counter, but her name totally escaped me.

"Hi," I said. I was having a really hard time looking her in the eye for some reason. "I was wondering if you might remember me? I was here a few nights ago…"

"Yes, I know – with Edward."

"Um…yes, right." I took a deep breath and tried to start again. "Actually, I was hoping you might be able to help me out."

"With?" The blonde raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well, I'm trying to find him," I said. "He's not answering his phone, and I really need to talk to him."

"It doesn't sound like he wants to talk to you," the blonde snipped at me.

"Hello there!" The big guy in white – Felix, I remembered – walked out of the saloon doors and smiled at me.

"Hi," I said.

"How are you? Bella, right?"

"Yes," I said. "It's good to see you again, Felix."

"Did you come back for some more ravioli, or is it the gelato you are craving?" he asked. He looked over my shoulder towards the door. "Where's Edward?"

"Well, actually," I said, "I was hoping you could help me figure that out."

"Hmm…" Felix looked me over for a moment. "I think you'd better sit down. Tanya – ask Bruno if there's any gelato left."

"All right," Tanya grumbled. At least I had a name for her again.

I walked over to the table he motioned towards while Tanya headed into the kitchen.

"Something not going right?" Felix asked. He didn't waste any time getting to the point, and it reminded me so much of Edward that sudden tears were falling down my face without my consent. I put my hands over my face and heard the scrape of chair legs across the floor before I felt Felix's large arms around my shoulders. He didn't say a word, but let me cry until I managed to compose myself. He offered me one of the linen napkins from the table to clean off my face.

"I'm sorry!" I blubbered. "I didn't mean to start all this, it's just…"

"Don't you worry about a thing, Bella dear," he said. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

I relayed the events outside the economics building, ending with Edward's hasty departure.

"I know I was rude to him, and I really didn't mean it that way," I sniffed. "I have my own hang ups to work through, but I need to talk to him, and he won't take my calls! I went to his apartment, but he wasn't there – the doorman wouldn't even let me up, even though I still have his extra key. I don't know how to get a hold of him!"

"Edward is a very…unusual individual," Felix said after a moment's pause. "He's sensitive to a fault, and when he feels something, he feels it very deeply. He told you about his parents?"

"Yes."

"Even before their passing, he was an emotional child. Losing them when he needed them so much was very difficult. He has found his own peace by living for the moment, but has a hard time when others he cares about don't share his view."

"Carpe Diem," I murmured.

"Exactly. I took him to get that added under the dragon's tail."

"You did?"

"I did." Felix nodded. "I knew Edward's family before he was even born. His parents shared their first date here, you know."

"I didn't know that."

"He probably didn't want to jinx it," Felix said with a wink. "He is completely smitten with you, of course. It was all over his face when he brought you in, and it just increased the whole time you were here."

"What am I going to do?"

"What are you willing to do?" Felix challenged. "You have some…hang ups, as you called them. Are you going to be able to face those things for him? If not, you need to let him go. He's strong, and he will heal. If you are willing to make some pretty serious changes about what is important to you…well, that is up to you."

"I want to be with him," I heard myself say. "I'll do anything to get him back."

"Then I think you have a very good chance."

"Will you tell me where his friends live?" I asked. "I'm sure he's there, and I really have to talk to him…apologize."

Felix smiled, nodded, and wrote the address on a waiter's bill pad. He gave me another hug and a wish for good luck, and I was out the door and headed for one of the worst areas of town. In designer shoes.

I decided both taking the subway and driving my car to the lower west side of town weren't great ideas, so I took a cab instead. It wasn't hard for the cab driver to find the apartment building with the address Felix had given me. It was dark when I got there, but the streets were thankfully empty and quiet. There were two men – probably homeless from the look of them – leaning against each other's shoulders and sharing a bottle across the street, but they didn't seem to notice me at all.

The apartment building was in atrocious condition. Even if you forgave the faded paint and worn carpets on the steps inside, you couldn't ignore the iron gated door, which hung slightly askew by one hinge and did nothing to keep anyone out of the building. There was also a moldy, dusty smell once you walked inside that made me a little sick to my stomach. I looked at the slip of paper in my hand and read the apartment number again – three-oh-six. The numbers on the apartment doors on the lower floor went from one-oh-one to one-oh-six.

I went to the elevator, but there was a faded little sign over the buttons stating it was out of order. Around the corner I found the stairs and forced my feet to stomp up the steps, heels or no. The door was right at the top of the stairs, at the back of the building. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Who the fuck knocks?" a male voice called out. "E – did you order a fucking pizza or something?"

I heard some mumbled replies, and then laughter, but no one came to the door. I felt my teeth sinking into my lip and I considered turning around and leaving, but I couldn't. I had to see him. I had to talk to him.

I reached up to knock again when the door flew open, and a really, really tall blonde woman with a simply to-die-for figure looked down at me and narrowed her eyes. Behind her was an even taller man with broad shoulders and dark curly hair. He looked vaguely familiar, and might have been one of the boys on the street corner where I first met Edward.

"I don't know you," the blonde Amazon stated. She looked down at my shoes and then slowly up to my face again. "You are definitely_ not_ from around here."

"No, I'm not," I said. "I was just looking for Edward."

"I told him you would be ugly on the inside," the big guy growled low, his blue eyes glaring at me.

"Holy shit," the tall blonde said. "Is she the bitch who…"

"Rose," I heard Edward's soft voice before I saw him step out from around the door. "Don't do that."

"What? Call her what she is?"

"Stop it," he said, not taking his eyes from me. "Hey, Bella."

"Hey," I replied, nervous and self-conscious. "Can we talk?"

"I guess," he said.

"You don't have to, Edward," the blonde said – Rose, he had called her. She had to be the Rosalie he mentioned before – the one he said liked to play mom for him.

"I know," he replied. "It's okay, Rose – really."

The big guy grabbed Edward's arm and silently raised an eyebrow at him. Edward just shrugged his right shoulder up and down, and the big guy let go of his arm. Rosalie huffed and stepped to one side as Edward walked past her, quietly shutting the door behind him so we were standing in the musty hallway alone.

"Edward, I'm sorry," I blurted out quickly. I looked up into his bright green eyes and hoped he would say something, because I hadn't really planned much of a speech. I didn't know what to say, I only knew I didn't want him to disappear from my life like this. Unfortunately, he just looked at me without responding, forcing me to come up with something. I took a deep breath, and dove into the realms of complete honesty.

"I didn't want her to see me with you," I said softly. I felt the pressure of tears building up behind my eyes. "I know that's stupid, and it's not you at all – it's her. No, it's not her – it's me."

"I got it," Edward said. "You don't want to be seen with me."

"I want to see you," I told him.

"What?" he barked. "As long as it's behind closed doors? Seriously?"

"No!" The tears were flowing now. "There just so much pressure from those guys – my friends, my father…they have a lot of expectations, and I wasn't prepared to try to explain you just yet."

"_Explain _me?" Edward huffed and grabbed the handle of the door. "I don't know what the fuck that's supposed to mean, and I don't know if I want to find out."

"Please…don't," I begged. "You said before you didn't want to say the wrong thing and fuck this up. I didn't want to either, but I have. Please, let me try to fix it. Give me a chance, please, Edward."

He halted and dropped his hand from the doorknob, but didn't look back at me.

"I know I shouldn't care what people think," I said, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. "But I always have. Everyone I know is so focused on what people look like, what they're wearing, where they bought their shoes. Who you are with is a big part of that – the right person, the right family. I've never known anyone like you before. I mean, the first things people see are the piercings and the tattoos. I just don't know how to cope with their reactions to you. I've had at least fifteen phone calls from people since Lauren saw you, and I haven't even answered them because I don't know what to say!"

"Do they bother you?" he asked. "The tattoos and the piercings?"

"When I first saw you, yes," I answered. "Not bother, necessarily, but your appearance is very different from what I'm used to. I was so flustered when you came up to talk to me, I didn't know how to react."

"What about now? You still don't like them?"

"Now I like them," I admitted. "They took a little getting used to, and I think I was a little intimidated by them at first. But you were so…sweet. You caught me off guard, and I'm glad you did."

"Why?"

"Because I really like you, Edward. I wanted to get to know you better, and I still do, but I don't know how to deal with everyone else in my life. Appearance has always been very important, and I don't know any other way."

Edward finally looked back up to me, his eyes narrowed.

"When I realized you were upset because I hugged you in front of your friend, it really hurt," he said. His voice was frighteningly deadpan, considering his words. "I know I tend to get a little over emotional about stupid shit, but that wasn't stupid to me. I didn't know what to think. I thought you liked me, and that you accepted me the way I was. When I realized you really didn't…"

"But I do!" I insisted. "It doesn't matter to me now, and I would never want you to change anything. I just don't…I don't…"

"Want anyone else to know?" he prompted and nodded his head. "Yeah, I got that idea. I can't be that way, Bella. When you left my place Sunday, I came over here and told everyone about you. I told them how great you were, and how much I liked you. I told them about you reading to me – and that part even made Alice cry. All I could think about was how much I wanted them to meet you and for you to be included in things we do as a group. I didn't realize I was going to be an embarrassment to you, or that you wouldn't even tell anyone about me. I thought…I thought you felt what I felt…I thought when we made love…shit, Bella."

He turned away for a second, his right hand moving up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"I did feel that," I whispered.

"If you had felt what I felt, you would have…fuck, it doesn't matter." Edward shook his head, ran his hands through his hair and yanked a cigarette out of his pocket with his right hand, quickly grasped it out of his fingers with his left hand, and then put the cigarette back in his shirt pocket.

"I just need some time, Edward," I said. "I need to…process some of this…figure out what to tell my friends and…"

"I'm not going to be in a relationship like that," Edward said. His eyes were dark, and his nostrils flared a little as he spoke. "I don't want to be_ explained_ to the people in your life before I meet them. If I can't just…be me…with you…shit. Forget it. I really don't have anything else to say."

He spun to his right, and his right hand grasped the doorknob and started to turn it. At the same time, his left hand reached out and tightened securely, though not painfully, around my wrist.

"Edward?" I looked down at his fingers gripping my wrist as he turned and started to turn the handle.

"No, Bella," he said sharply, and then his voice went back to calm and cold. "I'm done here. I don't want to talk to you anymore."

Edward turned to his right and started opening the door, but at the same time the fingers of his left hand strengthened their grip, and pulled on my arm sharply. I stumbled forward, lost my balance, and bumped into him, almost falling over. Edward turned his head back, his eyes scowling and his brows drawn – in anger or confusion, I wasn't sure which – but his fingers didn't release their grip.

Suddenly, the door opened up all the way, and a tiny little brunette, the complete opposite of Rosalie, peeked out from around the edge of the door, eying first Edward, then me. I heard her exhale sharply through her nose before her gaze left mine and went back to Edward's.

"Edward…" she started.

"Alice, I want her gone," Edward said, his voice still calm and emotionless.

Alice looked at his face, and then I watched her eyes travel down his arm and to my wrist. She glanced up at me, but I couldn't understand her expression.

"Edward," the little brunette said quietly. "I'm not so sure you want that."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look at your hand, Edward."

Edward glanced down at his left fingers and grimaced.

"What's going on?" I asked. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was growing. Edward was looking at his left hand like it wasn't attached to his body.

"Maybe you should talk some more?" Alice suggested.

"I don't want to," Edward said, his voice was still oddly calm.

"Part of you does," Alice said as she nodded towards his left hand. His fingers opened and slid down my wrist, across my palm, and entwined with my fingers. I watched Edward look at his hand as if he wasn't sure whose it was, shake his head, and glance back at me. He slowly winked his right eye, leaving it closed while he looked at me with his left. His thumb started stroking the outside of my hand.

"What's going on?" I asked timidly. I was about as confused as I could get, and didn't really know what I should do or say, so I just stood there like an idiot. I watched Edward's throat bob as he swallowed hard. He seemed as though he was going to say something, but he shook his head again instead, closing both eyes and looking away from me.

"He's conflicted," Alice said.

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"Part of me wants you to leave," Edward said, his tone still flat and emotionless. "I know, logically, that this isn't going to work. Logical thought is in the left side of your brain, the same place as language, which is why I'm _telling _you to leave."

"But you feel for her, Edward," Alice took his right hand off the doorknob and held it. "Otherwise, your right brain wouldn't be showing you that you want to hold on to her. You need to talk to her, Edward. That's what you are telling yourself."

My stomach knotted up. Did I understand this correctly? Half of Edward wanted me to go, but the other half wanted me to stay? He seemed so torn, and it ate me up inside. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and do whatever I could to help him resolve whatever conflict lay inside, but I didn't know if I should. I was the reason for his conflict – it was my fault he was so confused. I didn't know what Alice was trying to say though – part of him wanted me to leave – that was obvious – but some other side apparently didn't want me to go. I didn't know what to make of it.

"This doesn't make any sense," I murmured. "I don't understand…"

"Alice, I don't think I can do this," Edward looked over to her, and I saw the start of tears in both his eyes. "I want to say…but I don't…I don't know how to say it…"

"I know, Edward. It's okay." Alice ran her fingers up his arm and back down again. "Bella, you understand that Edward's brain doesn't work the same as everyone else's, right?"

"He told me," I said with a nod. "The right and left sides don't talk to each other."

"Exactly," Alice confirmed. "Sometimes, the logical parts of our brains don't agree with the emotional parts. For you and me, we work it out on the inside and come to a conclusion that involves both logic and emotion. Edward can't do that on the inside. The only way his emotional side can communicate with his logical side is through the left side of his body. His left hand is holding on to you because he has an emotional attachment to you. But the logical part doesn't agree. Language is in the left side of the brain – so whatever his logical side thinks is what he says."

"Alice, you don't have to explain all of this to her," Edward said. "I'm too fucked up for this. It was the same last time…I just can't…be with anyone, obviously. I'm damaged and embarrassing."

"Edward?" I tightened my grip around his fingers, and he looked down at our joined hands. His thumb continued to trace over my hand. "It wasn't you – it was me. I just…I was…caught off guard. I wasn't ready to tell anyone about you, but that's not your fault, it's mine. I'm the one who's messed up in the head, Edward – not you."

Edward looked from me, to our hands, and then to Alice and her hand on his shoulder. She took a slight step back and let go of him at the same time, nodding her head towards me.

"You want to, Edward."

"Please, Edward." I took both of his hands in mine. "Please give me another chance."

Edward tilted his head down and a little to the side, first focusing on me with his right eye, and then with the left. I bit down on my lip and held my breath.

"But I'm embarrassing," Edward said, his voice cracking a little.

"No…Edward, no you aren't," I couldn't help the tears that started to fall down my cheeks again. I wondered if I could get dehydrated from crying so much. My words came out all smashed together and probably only barely understandable through my sobs. "You are wonderful and beautiful and intelligent and I love being with you and reading to you and there is no way in hell I deserve another chance after what I did but please, _please _give me one."

Edward's lower lip disappeared behind his teeth as I tentatively reached out and slipped my fingers into the palm of his right hand. My heart was beating against my ribs, and I wondered if he could actually hear it. Edward's eyes darted around for a moment before finally settling back on mine.

"You would introduce me to your friends?" His voice was soft. "You would tell people about me without being ashamed of me?"

"Yes," I said. "And I wasn't ashamed of you Edward…ever. It's me I'm ashamed of. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I want to be with you," he said in a voice that barely counted as a whisper. "It felt so right when we were together. I know I want to be with you, but only if you want me enough to tell people who I am to you. If not…"

"I will – I swear, I will." My mind jumped around at the very idea, but the nervous part of me was overshadowed by the part that realized both of his hands were grasping on to mine now. He wasn't going to turn me away. The emotional side of him was winning.

"We should probably talk some more," Edward looked from our hands to my eyes, and I nodded vigorously. Again, his eyes darkened a little, and distrust clouded his vision for a moment. "You really won't try to hide me from people?"

I had to be honest with him. He had been completely honest with me about everything, and I couldn't sugar coat this. He'd see right through it.

"I have to admit, it isn't going to be easy to talk to some people about you, but I will do it."

"Your father?"

"He'll be the hardest, yes."

"I could go with you."

"No, I think that would definitely be worse. Let him get used to the idea before you meet."

"Well…um…actually," Edward danced from one foot to the other. Actually, it seemed his left foot was actually trying to get away from the rest of him. "We've met before."

"You've met my father?"

"Yes, he met me to go over the accounts the week after my parents died."

"Oh," I responded, since any actual intelligent words didn't seem to be forthcoming.

"Honestly, Bella – he didn't like me too much."

"Great," I deadpanned.

"We've met a couple of times since then," Edward said with a shrug. "I don't think he approves of some of my financial decisions."

"He usually has an opinion about such things." I tilted my head to one side, my mind traipsing back to a time when I was nine and wanted to buy a gigantic stuffed animal. I had received a detailed lecture about items that appreciate in value and those that don't. I didn't end up with the giant Care Bear – that much I know.

Edward looked at me for a while.

"What he says really matters to you," Edward said. It was a statement, not a question. His tongue fiddled with his lip rings.

"It always has," I agreed. "I know he's a work-a-holic and can certainly be overbearing, but he's my dad. I don't want to let him down. He counts on me for too much."

"That's why you're going to work with him instead of doing something you'd rather do."

"Yes, it is."

He stared at me for a another minute before finally showing me his beautiful half grin.

"I'm gonna get my stuff," Edward said. He took a step towards the doorway and then stopped, his smile faltering and his eyes lowering a little. "Where will we go?"

"Um, I didn't bring my car," I told him.

"How did you get here?"

"I took a cab."

"I'll go call for one," Edward said.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"Not my place," he said quickly and quietly, glancing nervously at Alice. She gave him a small smile. I had honestly forgotten she was there at all.

"My place?" I asked, hopeful. My twisted up stomach waited for his reply.

"Okay." Edward let go of my hands, but his left arm immediately pulled me against him. I wrapped both arms around him, letting the tears go and soak into his shirt.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I really, really am…"

Edward wrapped his other arm around me and held me against his chest for a minute. His lips touched the top of my head before he released me, saying he'd call the cab and then we could go. He walked through the door and out of my sight, leaving Alice and I alone in the hallway.

"He cares about you," Alice said with a smile. "Sometimes, he just doesn't know what he's feeling."

"He's not the only one," I mumbled. "We just met, but I…"

"I'm not letting him go anywhere with _her_!" A loud voice screeched from inside the apartment. Suddenly, Rosalie was back in the hallway, shaking a finger at me. "There is no way I'm letting him leave here – not with you! You fucking hurt him, you skanky little…"

"Rosalie!" Alice stood between us and glanced over her shoulder back into the apartment. "He's going to hear you!"

"Good! Obviously he's got his wires crossed if he's listening to her, so he needs to listen to someone else!"

"I think Edward needs to talk to her," Alice said quietly, though she was still eyeing me warily.

"That was his first panic attack since Angela left him!" Rosalie snarled. "Alice, he was a freaking mess! You didn't see him when he first got here! This bitch did that to him, and I'm not going to let her…"

"Rose," Alice put her hand on Rosalie's arm. "Remember what he was like yesterday?"

"Of course I fucking remember! That just makes this so much worse!"

"He wants to work it out." Alice leaned a little closer to the blonde. "He was holding on to her with a death grip, and he didn't even know it."

Rosalie glared at me, narrowed her eyes even more, and then stuck out her bottom lip. She exhaled sharply, causing her breath to make her bangs fly off her forehead for a moment.

"That doesn't mean anything," Rose growled, but her voice held a lot less venom than it had just a second ago.

"I don't want to hurt him -" I tried to say.

"Shut up," Rosalie interrupted. "You are the last person I want to hear from right now."

"He needs to talk to her, Rose. He was so upset, but it was because -"

"Whatever." She held her hand out in front of Alice's face. Alice scowled at her and pushed it away.

"Stop it." The little brunette was starting to look like David in front of Goliath. "Edward needs this. Give him a fucking chance to see if it can work. He deserves a chance. Are you going to deny him that?"

Rosalie stopped her growling long enough to stare intently at Alice, and then took a long, slow breath. She put her hands on her hips, rose up to her full height, and glared down at me.

"If you hurt him again, I swear I'll be looking for you," she told me. "I don't know what the fuck he sees in you, but I don't like it and I don't like you snobby rich bitches with your country clubs and your Gucci purses!"

"It's Prada," I squeaked before I could stop myself. Her glare intensified.

"If he comes back here again like he did this afternoon, I will hunt you down and feed you the fucking Prada purse. Got it?"

"Got it," I whispered. Holy shit, she was scary.

"Rosalie!" Alice grabbed her arm and shoved her back through the doorway. Rosalie went, reluctantly, while giving me the stink eye the entire time. Alice shook her head a little before turning back to me. Her stare wasn't nearly as frightening, but certainly still intense.

"Edward's special to a lot of people," she said quietly enough that those inside would not have heard her. "He means a lot to me and to his other friends. He was so happy when he was here yesterday that I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope we can chalk this up to a misunderstanding, but don't hurt him like that again. Don't ever make him feel like he's less than he is. I won't stand for it."

"I didn't mean to," I said. I felt another tear run down my cheek. "I really didn't. He means a lot to me as well, and I already know how wonderful he is."

"Good to hear," Alice said with a nod.

The apartment door opened wide, and Edward walked back into the hallway. Behind him there were two guys – the huge one from the doorway before had his arms crossed over his chest, and another guy who was lanky and looking at me with an intense stare. It made me feel like he could see right into my skull. The big one looked me up and down, but didn't say a word to me – he only spoke to Edward.

"You sure, E?"

"I'm sure, Emmett – thanks."

Emmett. I remembered the name – he was the track runner who had helped Edward when he was hurt.

"You know it."

Edward exhibited an apprehensive smile as he glanced first at me, and then at Alice.

"You both okay?" he asked. "Rose isn't talking to me now."

"I think we're going to be," Alice told him. She turned on her heel and walked back into the apartment. She waved her hand in the air. "Rose will be fine. You know how protective she is."

The door shut, and Edward glanced at me nervously.

"Was Rose mean to you?"

"Nothing I didn't deserve."

"And Alice?"

"They all care about you a lot."

"They're my friends," he said with a shrug. "We all take care of each other."

I snorted, thinking about how often my friends had taken care of me. I recalled one weekend about a year ago, Lauren laughed her ass off at me when I drank so much I couldn't walk. She did call me a cab, at least. I wondered if I had ever had a friend who would make someone eat a designer purse for hurting me. I didn't think so. My friends would never do such a thing to name-brand consumer products.

"Are you okay?" Edward's hand reached out and stroked my cheek, wiping away the escaped tear.

"I think so," I said. "Are you?"

"Well, half of me is, at least." Edward's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "The other half is still a little worried."

"What can I do to convince both halves I mean it?" I asked. "How can I show you I want to be with you, and whatever people say…well, that's what they'll say?"

"I don't really know," Edward said. "I can't even get the two halves of me to talk to each other, not sure how I'll get them to talk to you."

He laughed, but I couldn't join him in it. It wasn't horribly genuine, anyway. We stepped outside and walked to the curb, awaiting the taxi.

"I'll try if you will." Edward placed his hand – the left, I noticed – under my chin and tilted my head up to look at him.

"I think that would be great," I said. "And thank you."

"For what?"

"Giving me the chance I don't deserve."

I watched Edward lean down slowly, then closed my eyes as his lips pressed softly, but earnestly against mine.

…

* * *

**Chapter End notes:**

At least I didn't end it with a nasty cliffie! :)

The next post will be part two of chapter three. That will be the official end of Judging Books, though I may find a little something more for these characters to do later. :)

...

For more information on Judging Books and my other work, visit the blog at http:/shaysavage(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

Follow on twitter - savage7289 - for occasional updates and babbling. Well, mostly babbling.


	5. Resolutions Pt 2

**Author's Notes:**

**Disclaimer:** All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just piddling in her pool.

This is it, folks! Chapter five of this...uh...one-shot. I know - just not right.

Again, thanks to DK for the beta reading, and to Mariamaral & StAngelS for coming up with the plot! :)

* * *

**Chapter Three – Resolutions (part 2)**

"There was this guy who was fighting with his wife, and he actually attacked her with his left hand while his right hand was trying to defend her from himself."

Edward took my hand and helped me out of the back of the cab. Once we were on the sidewalk, and I had paid the driver, Edward laced his fingers through mine as we made our way to my apartment.

"So that kind of shit certainly happens," Edward continued. He swung our arms between us, biting down on his lower lips and smiling down at me as we walked. He'd been telling me some of the most bizarre stories about people who had undergone the same surgery as he had. "There was a guy where they put headphones on him, and asked him what he wanted to do for a living in his right ear, and his left hand wrote down that he wanted to be a race car driver. When they did the same into his left ear, he wrote that he wanted to be a draftsman with his right hand. Oh – and if you show just one of my eyes a picture of something and ask me to draw it, I'll always draw it better with my left hand, even though I'm right handed. How fucked up is that? It's because your right brain is better at drawing, I guess."

"It's actually really, really fascinating," I said truthfully. We entered the elevator and I pushed the button for my floor. "But kind of scary in a way as well, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Edward said with a nod. "Like I mentioned before when I kept passing the donuts sign – sometimes it's kind of funny, but sometimes it's just freaky…like earlier."

"Do you think…um…both of you want to talk to me now?"

Edward laughed.

"There's still only one of me, goofball," he chided. "It's just that when I can't make up my mind, I don't always realize I can't make up my mind. You should see it when Rose is bitching at me to eat healthier, and I start making a salad with Hershey syrup for dressing!"

"You're kidding!" I gasped. The elevator beeped at us as we reached the right floor. We stepped out together, and I pulled my hand out of his to dig through my purse for the keys.

"Of course I am," he smirked. "But I have had one hand grab orange juice and the other one grab a can of Coke at the same time. I'll sit down at the table and look down, realizing I have both."

"That has to be a little…odd."

"Yes and no," Edward said. He held open the door for me after I unlocked it, and we both went inside. "Really, everyone does it, but most people do it in their heads first, and then act. I act first, and how I act tells me I'm indecisive. Usually, no one except me notices it happens at all, but times like today make it kind of obvious."

Edward looked around my apartment, taking in the neutral décor and checking out my stereo system. I hung my purse on its hook and took his backpack from him, laying it down on the floor next to the door.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked.

"Orange juice and Coke, please," Edward joked with a wink. "Nah, really – I'm fine."

"Well, I'm going to get some wine, if that's okay with you."

"Of course."

I stepped into the kitchen and pulled out a wine glass and the half bottle of Merlot I had started the day before. After pouring a glass, I went back into the living room, where Edward was pulling out DVDs from their display case one at a time, looking at the covers of each one.

"You like the romantic comedies, huh?" he said.

"I guess so," I replied. "They're a nice distraction from school work, anyway."

"Do you have a lot of school work to get done tonight?" Edward asked. He looked out towards the doorway and ran one of his hands through his hair, tossing it all over the place. "I don't want to…be in the way."

I looked up at him, and Edward looked down at his feet for a moment with his brow furrowed.

"You aren't in the way," I said quietly. He glanced back up and blushed.

"I don't know what to say now," he admitted. "I'm not very good at…well…making up, I guess? That's what this is, right?"

"I want it to be."

"So do I."

I placed my wine glass on the coffee table and took a few steps closer to him. Reaching out, I took both of his hands in mine. He looked at them for a moment before looking back into my eyes. His beautiful half smile appeared, and his blush deepened as he pulled me close and kissed me softly. I returned the favor, and then raised my hands up and around his neck, twisting into his hair and holding him closer. I felt his tongue against my mouth, and opened to him.

Edward groaned and wrapped his arms around my waist, gripping me tightly.

"I didn't think we'd ever do this again," he said, moving away from my lips and kissing up my jaw, to my ear. "I never thought I'd touch you like this again…it hurt so much just thinking about it…"

"Edward…I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

Pulling back, he opened his eyes and looked at me, ran his tongue over his lip rings and sighed.

"I know you didn't mean to," he said softly. "I guess there have always been people I knew who really care about that kind of stuff, but I just never have. I didn't know what I should do. I like you so much…"

"I like you, too." I placed my palm against his cheek. "I'm not going to pretend that it's going to be easy for me to just…forget all that stuff. Who you are is what's important, I know that, but I've always been taught that you show who you are by your appearance. People in my life…they aren't going to just accept you, and in my world, that reflects on me and my father."

Edward narrowed his eyes, contemplating.

"I guess I never thought of it that way," he said. "My parents never made a big deal out of clothes or whatever. I always had nice stuff, but I didn't want to stand out when it came to the people I cared about, so when they were gone, I always went shopping with Alice, to the places she could afford. I don't want the others to know I have money, because…well…because they don't, and they'd never accept anything from me if I made it obvious."

"It sounds like some of the same kinds of things," I pointed out. "It's just the opposite end of the spectrum."

"Maybe." Edward shrugged. "But when I told them about you, and where you were going to work and shit, they all figured out you were pretty well off, and none of them cared. Well…as long as you…um…didn't do anything that would…shit. I shouldn't bring that up now."

"As long as I didn't hurt you."

"Yeah."

"What can I do to take it back?"

"You can't," Edward said stoically. "What's done is done, you can't ever take back something you said or did in the past. You just have to go forward. Just…don't do that again…please."

"I won't," I promised. "I'm sorry…I really am."

"I know." Edward smiled. "And I think I understand that it's not going to be easy for you or me either, for that matter. But as long as we stick together, we should be okay, right?"

"Yes, I think we will."

"Are we all made up now?" he asked. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I think so – what do you think?"

"I think there's one more thing to do to make it official." He raised his eyebrows and slid his hand a little lower, past the small of my back and gripped my backside. He pulled me in close to him, and I could feel his desire pressed up against me.

"I think you might be right," I heard myself say.

He kissed the underside of my jaw, still holding my hips up against his thighs, so I could feel how hard he was as he pressed into my stomach. I reached down and ran my hand over the side of his length, through the denim. He pushed harder against me, and his lips found mine, eagerly sucking and licking. I placed both hands on his hips and brought him even nearer.

With my fingers at the top edge of his jeans, I worked my way to the skin at his sides, and then lifted my hands – taking his shirt with me. Edward obligingly raised his arms so I could take it off all together, revealing the dragon on his shoulder and the loving flowers on his chest, where my hands had to touch and examine. While I explored the planes of his chest with my fingers, Edward created a trail of small kisses from my neck to my upper arm and then back again, before doing the same on the other side. I dropped one of my hands again, this time snaking between my stomach and his erection, palming him.

All of a sudden, my back was up against the wall next to the couch, and my legs were wrapped tightly around Edward's torso. His mouth covered mine, kissing me frantically – his need at that time as deep as my own.

"Where's your bedroom?" Edward's voice rang through my ears, and for a minute, I didn't have the slightest idea where my room was. "'Cause if we don't get there soon, I'm going to take you right here against the wall."

"Down the hall, on the left," I breathed when I came to my senses again. He shifted his grip on my backside and carried me through the apartment, banging open my bedroom door and going straight to the bed. I don't know if he tripped right as he got there, or if he just threw us both down, but we ended up in a heap on top of the comforter.

His hands were immediately in my hair, and his mouth covered mine. I ran my fingers up his arms, over his biceps, across his shoulders and into his hair. I felt the silver hoops laced through his earlobe, and the pad of my thumb caressed them slowly.

"Fuck, I'm going to bust right out of my jeans," Edward panted.

"Then get them off!" I yelled, then realized I was yelling and felt heat rise to my face. Edward chuckled low, and then got up on his knees between my legs, looking into my eyes as he slowly unbuttoned his jeans. I whimpered, and my heart started pounding as that half smile crept over his face just as he finished unfastening the last button and slowly pushed his jeans down over his hips.

He was going commando.

"My God, Edward, you are trying to kill me," I mumbled as the fabric slowly revealed his beautiful, thick, hard cock. Holy shit, I was a fucking mess when it came to him. I felt my tongue run over my lips, and glanced up at Edward. The corners of his mouth twitched, and he swallowed hard. "I want you."

I lifted my hips to help him remove my skirt and panties, and then twisted to the side to yank my shirt up over my head and toss it off the bed.

"I love these," Edward remarked as he flicked the hook between my breasts, which caused my bra to fall to my shoulders. I shrugged it off. "Definitely easier than the ones with the hook in the back."

Edward glanced off to the side, blushing and shaking his head at himself. He looked back to me and reached out for my hand, which he used to pull me into a sitting position in front of him. He placed both of his hands on my shoulders and then slowly trailed the tips of his fingers over the outsides of my arms, then over to my hips and back up again around the front, barely brushing over my breasts and nipples on their way back up to my shoulders, to my neck, to my jaw.

He leaned in and ran his lips over mine, and I reached out with my tongue to taste him, and then sucked the silver loops through his lip into my mouth, making him groan. I ran my hand across his stomach and then lower, wrapping around his shaft and stroking it.

"That feels so good," he mumbled with his lips still in my mouth. I bit down gently and felt his hands tighten against my flesh. "Fuck, I want you so bad."

"Take me," I offered simply, because there wasn't anything I wanted more at that moment. Edward rose up on his knees a bit, and guided me backwards until I was lying on the bed again. He pulled back a little.

"Do you…um…have any condoms?"

"Yes," I said. "In the top drawer of the dresser."

He looked at me incredulously.

"Did you just buy them today, knowing I was going to come over?" Edward started laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach. I just turned bright red, pushed him backwards so he fell against the mattress, and climbed on top of him. I smacked his chest and yelled at him to shut up, but he didn't listen. Instead, he wrapped his long arms around me, and I was suddenly on my back again, with Edward's smiling face above me.

"You are obnoxious!" I said to him.

"Moi?" Edward placed his hand in the middle of his bare chest, feigning innocence. "You started it."

"What did I do?"

"Make me feel like a complete letch for having condoms in the first place," he said. "And now I find out you have a whole pile of them in your underwear drawer!"

"How do you know that's my underwear drawer?"

"All women keep their underwear in their top drawer," Edward replied with a wink. He jumped off me and yanked open the top dresser drawer, which was, in fact, full of my underwear. I saw him glance around at the drawer's contents before turning back and winking at me. "I knew it!"

"Shut up!" I laughed.

"At least it isn't an economy box of five-hundred or anything," Edward smirked.

"You did not just say that!" I grabbed one of the pillows and tossed it at him. It went wide, and would likely have broken my table lamp if Edward hadn't caught it.

"Good to remember – Bella's aim sucks," Edward tapped his left temple.

"You better stop that, or I'm going to find some school work to do!" I threatened.

"I don't think you really want to do that." Edward turned and fixed his intense stare at me, then slowly raised his hand, holding a single square package between his fingers. He raised the corner to his mouth, then bit down, tearing the top edge with his teeth. Using two fingers, he pulled the condom from its packaging and held it up for me to see.

All the comedic feelings disappeared as I watched him lower his hands until they reached the base of his cock. He wrapped his long fingers around himself, slowly stroking up and down, his eyes narrowing slightly. I could have sworn I heard him moan a little. His other hand touched the tip of cock with the condom, and then both hands worked together to slowly unroll it up his shaft. As soon as it was properly in place, Edward leapt from the floor to the bed, covering me instantly with his body, his hands, his mouth.

And just like that, we went from playful and silly to intense and all-consuming. His hands covered my body, and his hot breath on my shoulder mimicked my own panting. His mouth found the skin on my neck, and the cool metal made me shiver when it touched me. I brought my hand around from his back and let my fingers trace over one of his nipple rings, flicking it with my thumb along the way.

"I want to…need to be inside you," Edward whispered into my ear. "I need you…so much."

"Please…" I echoed his sentiments. "Don't wait…please…"

Just like the first time, he guided himself to my body and entered me so, so slowly, gently and tenderly it was almost enough to make my cry. Once he was completely encompassed, he dropped his forehead to my chest and breathed against my skin, trying to calm himself.

"Shit, Bella…you feel so good...so_ right_…"

I tilted my hips, pushing up against him and driving him the smallest fraction deeper. He gasped and reached down to grasp my hip with one hand, while the other placed to the side of my head for balance. I looked up into his eyes as he started to move inside of me, rocking smoothly up against my clit and making tiny little moans come out of my mouth with each of his lengthy, thorough thrusts. After a very short time, I felt the tension building within me, and I tightened my hold on his shoulders as he moved only slightly faster, swiveling his hips as he reached my depths.

"You like that, baby?"

"Oh…God…Edward! Ughh!" I screamed out incoherently with my eyes squeezed shut. I pushed my hips up to meet his and pulled him deeper inside. With my legs wrapped around his waist, the sensations rocketed through my body. My eyes slowly opened back to his.

"So beautiful," Edward said, his eyes still locked on mine. "I could do this to you for hours, just to watch your face when you come."

I'm sure I blushed, but was distracted by the movement between us, and started watching him move back and forth, in and out of me as my muscles tightened in my legs and Edward increased his speed. Slipping my hands from his back to his chest, I ran my thumbs over both of his nipples right before catching the rings between two fingers and pulling gently on them.

Edward gasped, bucked into me and – quite literally – screamed.

"Oh fuck! Fuck! Yeah! Oh God, Bella! Bella!" His hips slammed into me, his hand wrapping around my backside and pulling me up against his as he thrust harder. I felt his entire body shudder right before he collapsed on top of me.

"Holy Mary, Mother of God," he mumbled. "I'm not Catholic, but I feel like I ought to go confess to something!"

I bit down on my lip, trying to stop the smile from breaking out.

"Christ, that was fucking incredible!"

"You're incredible," I said, sliding my feet over his rear end, and then down the backs of his thighs.

Edward raised his head and looked at me again, his lips curling up in a beautiful smile and his hair all hanging in his eyes. I reached up and brushed it off his forehead.

"I'm so glad I'm here with you," he said. His smile dropped suddenly and his voice became dark. "I didn't think we'd ever…I didn't…fuck. I don't ever want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," I said, wrapping my arms back around him and holding his chest against mine. "I was a complete mess today without you."

"I thought…well, I didn't know what to think. I missed you so much. I know that doesn't even make any sense when we've only known each other a couple of days, but thinking about not seeing you anymore was just downright painful."

"I missed you, too," I admitted. "Everything happened so fast, and then you were gone and I couldn't take it back."

"I shouldn't have taken off like that," Edward said. "I should have given you more of a chance."

"I didn't deserve one," I whispered. I tried to keep the tears from coming back. "I'm just glad you were willing to talk to me again…give me another chance."

"I am, too."

Edward pulled me close to him, kissing my closed eyes, then my nose and my lips. His hands moved to my hips, his fingers gripping my skin as the kiss deepened and I tugged at his hair. We rolled together until he was on top of me, kissing me slowly and completely, his fingers trailing up and down my sides. He turned his head suddenly, resting his forehead on my shoulder for a moment before sitting up and looking down at me.

"I should probably go," Edward said with another blush. "You still have school work to do, and it's getting late."

"You could stay," I said softly. I felt my teeth bite into my lip and forced myself to stop it. Edward smiled his half smile.

"I told everyone I was just taking you home. I'm already going to have to dodge all their questions about why it took so long."

"Oh, yeah," I said. "I didn't think about that."

"I'd rather stay," he said. His fingers ran down the length of my bare arm, sending chills through my body. "I definitely want to see you tomorrow, if that's okay."

"Definitely okay," I told him. Then I remembered tomorrow was Tuesday. "Oh…shit."

"What?"

"I'm supposed to see my dad tomorrow."

"Oh."

"I should be done in the afternoon, but I will have some schoolwork to do then. Maybe we can at least meet for a little while in between?"

"That would be awesome, if you can swing it." Edward pulled me close to him for a moment, then let go. "I should get going."

I nodded reluctantly, and Edward got up and pulled his clothes back on. I wrapped myself up in a robe and walked him to the door.

"I know I have lunch with Dad tomorrow," I told him. "If you let me know where you are in the afternoon, I could come meet you somewhere. I'll have my car with me."

"Works for me!" I was blessed with a full on smile to match his bright, sparkling eyes.

"I'll call you if I have to change anything at the last minute," I said. "You never know with my Dad."

"Well, let me know what you decide to do," Edward kissed the side of my mouth sweetly, and then opened the door behind him. "I know the next couple of weeks are going to be really busy for you, but I'd like to see you whenever you do have the time."

"Definitely," I agreed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I watched him walk down the hall a little ways before shutting the door and leaning back against it with a sigh. A sudden feeling of genuine relief washed over me, almost bringing tears to my eyes, and just as quickly a feeling of dread replaced it. I was going to have to do what I told him I would do. I was going to have to tell everyone about my new boyfriend, starting with Mister Charles Swan.

…

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

I glanced up at my father and then quickly looked back down to my boxed sushi lunch. I must have been too quiet, because it was rare for him to notice when I was off kilter. I decided on the straight forward approach, and figured I would just spit it all out at once.

"Well," I started, and then stopped again.

"Something up with school?" he asked.

"No, nothing like that," I assured him. I took a deep breath. So much for just spitting it out. I could get through this – I had to. I promised. "It's just…well…I'm seeing someone."

"Are you now?"

"Yes."

"Does he have a name?"

"Of course he has a name."

"Do I get to hear what it is?"

"Well, it's…it's Edward Cullen."

Dad's chopsticks dropped to the side of his plate and he stopped chewing. He seemed to be looking at my mouth, like he thought maybe some other words were going to pop out of it instead. His moustache twitched.

"You are seeing _Edward Cullen_?"

For a moment, I could have sworn there was complete silence. I think even the cafeteria employees stopped talking.

"Yes." My voice sounded a lot more unsure and timid than I had planned.

"For how long?"

"Not long at all," I said. I felt beads of sweat starting to collect on the back of my neck, below my hairline. "We just met last Friday. Not even a week."

"Well, cut it off now," Dad said. He picked the chopsticks back up and shoved another salmon roll into his mouth with them. A bit of wasabi got stuck in his moustache, which he wiped away with a beige linen napkin.

"I'm not going to cut it off, Dad."

"Like hell you're not," he said. Though his words were angry, he kept his voice low and calm. "Aside from the fact that he's still in high school…"

"He's not," I corrected. "He graduated."

"Regardless," Dad growled, still keeping his voice low, "He's way too young. Besides that, Edward Cullen is completely off his rocker. He's got brain damage, and he turned into a complete freak after his parents died. I don't know what he's told you…"

"He told me all about that," I said. "I know what's he's been through."

"Did he tell you about coming to see us to extract $100,000 in cash so he could pay off a shady attorney to emancipate him? Did he tell you about coming in here, to the executive offices and having a complete and total breakdown, which resulted in his hospitalization for a month? Did he tell you about buying his friends' apartment building a few weeks ago, at twice its market value, just so he could lower their rent? I'm not even going to go into the ridiculous tattoos and piercings and whatnot. Carlisle Cullen is probably still rolling over in his grave over that boy's behavior. If his parents hadn't been such valuable clients, I might have asked him to move his investments elsewhere."

"You would not," I scoffed, trying to ignore all the additional information my father had provided. He bought that nasty old apartment building? A breakdown resulting in a month in the hospital? I tried to push those thoughts aside. "You'd never let a three-point-two-billion dollar portfolio walk out of the door."

"At least you did your homework on him."

"Dad, please," I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "This isn't exactly easy for me, but I really like him. I know we…have our differences, but I think we'll be able to work them out. I want your support."

"What happened to that James guy you were seeing last year?" Dad inquired with a lame attempt to divert the topic. "He came from a good family and his brain was intact."

"I wouldn't say that," I mumbled. I reached up and absentmindedly rubbed the tiny scar under my bottom lip and loosely debated telling him exactly what had happened with James, but decided against it. His parents were still clients. "James was definitely not right for me, Dad."

"What about that other guy – the one you went out with a month or so ago?"

"Jacob?" How did my dad know so much about my social life anyway? Ah yes – Jean, Lauren's mother hung out with Sue all the time.

"Yeah – something like that."

"We only went out once. He's dating one of Sam's friends now."

"Well there has to be someone…" He rose half way out of his seat and actually started looking around the Swan Financials cafeteria.

"Dad – I like Edward," I insisted, as strongly as I could. I knew this was going to be bad, I just knew it.

"Forget it," Dad stood and tossed his napkin. "I know you have school work to do, so we'll just cut this short. I'll see you Sunday for golf. If you have a suitable date, feel free to bring him along to Sue's luncheon."

He marched off and left me sitting there with my mouth open. I fumed for a moment, trying to keep the hot tears from falling out of my eyes. I took a couple of deep breaths and stood up a little shakily. Leaving my tray on the table, I made my way to the parking garage, mindlessly smiling and waving at various employees as I escaped the building.

Right about the time I reached my car, my phone beeped with an incoming text message.

_I know you have school work, but I wanted you to know I'm at Eclipse Park, in case you can stop by this afternoon. Miss you. Edward. PS Alice wrote this for me._

I couldn't help but smile, and all thoughts of my overbearing, controlling father danced out of my head as visions of his sparkling eyes took their place. A quiet walk in the park actually sounded like a fantastic idea. I had never been to the one he mentioned, but I found it on my GPS when I got to the car. I drove past a few abandoned warehouse buildings until I finally pulled into the little parking lot indicated by the woman's voice on the GPS.

I guess we had different definitions of a "park."

There was a chain link fence around what looked to be an old tennis court. Instead of nets and the like, there were two curved structures painted with graffiti, and about a dozen guys and girls on bikes were zooming up and down them, flying into the air when they got to the top and then twisting around so they could land without killing themselves.

Even though his head was covered with a helmet, I immediately spotted Edward on his dark green bike as he flew past a couple other riders and up one of the slopes. He soared high into the air, twisted in a complete back-flip, and landed easily on the ramp below to the cheering of some of the other kids in the park.

My Saab chirped as I locked it, which caused a bunch of the kids to turn around and take notice. I could feel the heat rise into my face as I started walking up to the gate.

"Hey chickie!" one of the guys called out. "That's a sweet ride. Do the seats go all the way back?"

The group around him started to laugh until Edward rode straight through the whole pile of them and put his hand on the guy's shoulder.

"Be polite," he said softly. "I invited her here."

"This your girlfriend, E?" the guy chortled as Edward blushed. "My apologies, pretty lady. Welcome to Eclipse Park."

"Bella, this is Demetri," Edward jumped off his bike and reached for my hand. "Demetri, this is Bella."

He introduced me to about nine other kids, but there was no way I was going to remember all the names. I said hi to the group and allowed Edward to lead me over to a rusted bench with a good view of the ramps. I spotted Emmett's huge form almost immediately, and Jasper was right behind him as they twisted and turned, crossing each other in the air before landing neatly on the ramp.

"Emmett, Alice and Jasper are still riding."

"Who's Jasper?"

"Oh – sorry," Edward said with a slight blush. "He was there when you came to…um…talk to me last night. I'm sorry – I didn't really do any formal introductions."

"That's okay," I said. "I don't think that was at the top of my list of things to accomplish yesterday. I'm glad there will be other opportunities."

"Me, too."

"Is um…" I glanced around, "Rosalie here?"

"Rosalie had to work today."

"Where does she work?" I asked, trying not to sound as relieved as I was.

"She's a waitress at the IHOP over on Cox Road," Edward said, and then started to laugh hysterically.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Well, she started there when they first opened the restaurant," Edward said. "They were all told that when they answered the phone, they should say 'IHOP on…' and then the name of the street where they're located. So for the first week, they kept getting phone calls constantly, with people just calling, listening to their greeting and then hanging up, usually laughing."

"I don't get it," I admitted.

"Think about it," Edward said with a sly smirk. "It's on _Cox _Road. So when they picked up the phone, they would say 'I _HOP_ on _Cox_."

I started laughing with him that time.

"So what did they do?"

"Now they answer with IHOP only." Edward shot me the double-barreled smile, and I shifted a little in my seat. Edward gripped my hand and nodded his head over to the bicyclists. "Check that out."

I looked to where he indicated and saw Emmett flying down one of the ramps, spinning the bike around and around on its frame – at least three times – before landing on the other ramp and riding back down again. I recognized the lanky blond guy from yesterday – Jasper – as he followed suit, landing on just one wheel and reaching the bottom of the ramp before the other even touched the ground.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Edward smiled his glorious smile.

"It's kind of scary," I admitted. "It seems like they could get really hurt."

"We've had our share of broken arms and stuff," Edward told me. "Nothing scarier than one guy a couple months ago who landed on his back and neck. It wasn't too bad in the end, though – he had a concussion, but he was okay a couple days later."

"I'm surprised you don't stay away from stuff like this," I said. "Aren't you afraid of getting hurt again?"

"Sometimes," he said. "But if I had been hurt in a car accident, would you advocate never driving again?"

"Good point," I said with a smile.

"Can we have dinner together tonight?" Edward asked abruptly.

"I have two presentations to give tomorrow," I said. "I still have a lot of work to do on them. I think I'll have to skip dinner and just make something quick at my place."

"Later?" he asked, hopeful.

"I can come by," I said. "Maybe we can read a bit more Dune, if there is time?"

"I'd really like that."

"But if I'm staying over, it can't be a late night. I still have to get up early since my first class is at nine."

"Well, maybe we can find some way of wearing you out so you sleep well," Edward smirked.

"I slept pretty well this weekend." I grinned up at him and twisted my fingers around in his hand.

"Me too," Edward said. He leaned over and kissed me softly. "I think sleeping at my place with you is a lot more appealing than Emmett and Jasper's couch."

"I guess I'll have to come over then."

"Good!"

Edward leaned in close to me again, brushing his lips over my mouth and down my chin. Whistles and cat-calls emitted from the bike riders all around the park. He seemed so at ease and relaxed, even with everyone watching us, and I wondered how he managed to take everything in stride the way he did. It reminded me about the conversation I had with my dad, and the supposed breakdown Edward had in the office. When he leaned back and smiled at me again, I decided to tell him I had at least started to make good on my promise.

"I told my dad I was seeing you."

"You did?" Edward seemed surprised, and maybe just a bit nervous at my revelation. "What did he say?"

"Well, it wasn't pretty," I told him honestly. "But it could have been worse, too. I'll have to give you the details tonight. I need to get back to my schoolwork."

"Okay," Edward stood and gave me a hug, then a deeper kiss on the lips, which was met by more whistles and cheering. "I'm glad you came by."

"I am, too," I said.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"Thank you for telling him. That really does mean a lot to me."

I smiled, kissed him once again and then headed back to the car, trying to ignore the continued comments and raucous clapping. I settled into the seat and pulled carefully out of the parking lot.

My phone rang four times while I was in the car, but when I saw the names coming up – Lauren, Jessica, Jacob, and then Lauren again – I decided I still wasn't ready to deal with that. I'd see Lauren in class tomorrow. She would just have to keep her panties on until then. There was another beep, indicating a text message after I didn't answer the last call.

I pulled into the parking garage, locked the car and headed to the lobby of my apartment building, desperately trying to ignore the looks thrown my way from two first year grad students I recalled from the New Year's Eve social. Good lord, had Lauren already managed to talk to them, too? I had managed to dodge both Lauren and her phone calls so far, but obviously I couldn't completely avoid her influence, even with people I barely knew. I flipped open my phone and read her last text.

_When you are done fucking the little Goth boy LMK._

As soon as I walked through the door of my apartment, my phone started ringing again. I reluctantly looked at the caller ID – it was my father. I sighed heavily and hit the green button.

"Bella, come and meet me for dinner."

No hello or anything.

"I can't, Dad. I have to get ready for a presentation tomorrow."

"Bull. Is that delinquent with you?"

"_Edward_ is not with me. I told him the same thing I am telling you – I'm not done with school work for a couple more weeks and I have a lot of work to do tonight."

There was a long pause before he spoke again.

"Bella, you have no idea what you are getting into with that boy," Dad informed me. "He hasn't even held a job since he got out of high school, and then he dropped out of his freshman year! Dropped out, Bella! A college dropout!"

"Dad, I know all of this," I groaned. I tried to keep the annoyance out of my voice as I realized he had probably spent the rest of the afternoon looking up information on my boyfriend. "If you just get to know him…"

"That's not going to happen, because you are not going to keep seeing him."

"You don't get to make that decision," I said softly.

"I most certainly do," Dad said. "When you are doing something stupid, I'm going to do something about it."

"It's not stupid!" I yelled into the phone. "You don't know him, and you do not get to decide who I date!"

"Bella, be reasonable…"

"No, Dad – I'm not having this conversation with you anymore. Edward and I are together – maybe it will be short term or maybe it will be longer, but either way, you are going to have to come to terms with it, because I am not breaking up with him just because you tell me to!"

I hung up the phone.

I felt my entire body turn to ice.

I hung up the phone on my father.

I hung up on Charles Swan.

I yelled at him, too.

Holy shit.

It felt good.

…

"I can't wait until studying for a test is a thing of the past." I sipped lemonade from a straw and moaned softly as Edward's hands rolled all over my feet. I leaned back a little more in the pink bean bag chair. "One more week of classes, then finals, then I'm out of there. I sure would have enjoyed college better without the tests. I love to learn, it's having to prove to someone else that I learned something that annoys me."

"At least you got your thesis turned in," Edward said. His fingers worked their way between my toes. "And don't complain too much, I would have liked to have been able to stay in school."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way," I said. Even though Edward kept saying we hadn't known each other long enough to worry about such shit, I seemed to keep slipping up with comments that could certainly be taken the wrong way. We had checked out a new restaurant earlier in the week, and I had really stuck my foot in my mouth when Edward asked me to come with him when he needed to excuse himself to the restroom. I had laughed, thinking he was making some kind of joke, or maybe just coming on to me. Then it hit me – since he hadn't been to that place before, he didn't know which door led to the women's room and which one led to the men's. Of course he would need someone to point out the right one in an unfamiliar place.

Needless to say, I felt like a complete and total shit after that one.

"It's okay," Edward said with a small smile. "I could try to go back, it just seemed like there was no way to do it like a normal person. I didn't want to have to explain myself all the time."

"What do you mean, 'like a normal person'?"

"I could have gone back with a whole individual learning plan, had tutors to help me with the textbooks and oral tests instead of written, but I couldn't have really been like the other students then. The last year of high school sucked when I was taken out of class during the tests so someone could read the questions and I could spout off the answers. I hated being singled out like that."

"I can understand that," I said. "I never liked being the center of attention – not at school or anywhere else."

"But you want to be an executive, where people are going to be looking up to you all the time?"

"Want, no, but…well…it is what it is."

"Why are you doing it, Bella?" Edward's voice dropped low and his massaging fingers slowed to a calming pace.

"Granddad grew that company from nothing," I said with a shrug. "Dad took over from him and grew it even more. Taking over for him when he retires is his dream for me. I'm supposed to carry on the Swan Financial legacy. _It's in my blood!_ Just ask Dad."

"You should do something with books," Edward said so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"What? Work in a library or something?" I laughed at the idea.

"Yes," he said, just as quietly. "You would like that more. You don't even like your accounting and economics classes. I can tell when you're studying."

"Careers aren't the same as hobbies, Edward," I said. "Reading is a hobby, not something you do for the rest of your life."

"Sounds like something your dad would say." Edward smirked. Apparently, I quoted my dad quite a lot. I hadn't noticed before, but Edward had been calling me out on it for the past two days. I scowled at first, but then laughed, because he was absolutely right.

"Fine, it is something he's said to me before. But he's right – I can't make a career out of hanging out around books."

"You could write."

"Writers don't make it, Edward. That's nothing more than a pipe dream."

"Would you enjoy it?"

"Not the point."

"It's my point."

"Ugh!" I pulled my feet from his hands and crawled out of my bean bag chair and into his. "Enough! I think announcing my relationship with you was enough of a shock to my dad's system for a while now. I'm not sure he could handle anything else."

"I just want you to be happy," Edward gave me his luscious half smile, which I kissed, and then kissed again.

"I'm happy," I told him, moving my lips over the edge of his jaw, then up to his ear. "You are making me very happy."

His hands slipped down my sides and cupped my rear end, pulling my hips up against the bulge in his khaki cut-off shorts.

"I want to give you something," he snickered. "I'll give you a hint what it is…"

"Oh really?" I played along, trying to look all naïve about his…um…gift. "Whatever could it be?"

"Well, it's long…"

"Oh really?"

"Uh huh…and hard…"

"Keep going!"

"And it wants to be inside of you," he pulled me close and whispered hot into my ear.

"Whatever could it be?" I whispered back.

"It's a banana," Edward said. "They aren't quite ripe, but I like them that way, and I'm starving!"

I smacked him on the shoulder as he rolled out from under me, grabbed me by the waist and threw me over his shoulder. He ran us to his bedroom, threw me into the middle of the mattress and started pulling off his shirt and unbuttoning his shorts.

"Aren't you a little presumptuous?" I remarked, giggling and pulling my own shirt over my head.

"You want me," he shrugged and laughed. "Either that or the idea of eating a green banana has you all panting and sweating."

I threw one of the pillows at him, which went way over his head and smacked against the door behind him. He jumped on top of me, pulling at the button and zipper of my Capri pants and quickly discarding them off the side of the bed.

"I can't wait to be inside you," he murmured into my ear as his fingers slipped between my legs and found their destination. He pulled out a string of condoms from the nightstand drawer with the other hand, and tore one open with his teeth. "God, you are so wet…I want you so much."

He pulled his fingers out and unrolled the condom quickly, rolling back on top of me and placing his hands on either side of my face, kissing me deep. My heart was pounding, and the muscles in my thighs were begging me to start moving against him. I pulled my mouth away from his lips, tugging a little at his lip rings as I did.

"Please," I kissed up the side of his jaw and nipped at his ear lobe. "Don't make me wait…I need you in me."

He didn't prolong the moment, but hitched my leg up over his hip and pushed slowly and sweetly into me. He sighed as he entered me fully and held himself there, gazing down at me with sparkling, intense green eyes. He swiveled his hips, pulled out a little, then back in again, repeating the motion until I was screaming his name and digging my nails into his shoulders.

"You feel so fucking good," Edward moaned and bucked against me a few more times before letting out a sound that might have been my name, tensing all his muscles around me, and then slowly relaxing with his forehead on my chest.

Edward pulled out of me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine as he tossed the condom in the trash and wrapped his arms around me again, rolling us until I was lying on his chest. He tilted his head up under my chin and started nibbling my skin.

"Move in with me," Edward said with his mouth against my neck and his arms wrapped tightly around me.

He said it after every time we made love. I had a pretty good idea that he was saying it when I was in a state of vulnerable, post-coital bliss in order to catch me off guard. The past week started running through my head – the times I had been happy, content and at ease had all been here. Not necessarily lying on top of him, with parts of him buried inside of parts of me, but in this place, with Edward. Every time I had been in my apartment alone, I had hated it. I had been uncomfortable, at best. Most of the time I was there, I had felt like something drastically important was missing – and it finally hit me exactly what it was. I raised my head, pulling away from his lips at my throat and stared down at him. His cheeks turned pink, and he graced me with his cocky half smile.

"All right," I said, smiling back.

"All right?" His smile faltered and he narrowed his eyes at me, confused.

"I'll move in with you."

"Seriously?" Edward sat up against the headboard, pulled me into his lap, and took my face in his hands. "Do you mean it?"

"I mean it, seriously," I said with a laugh. "I mean, if you really want me to."

"Fuck yeah, I do!" Edward exclaimed. I laughed at his exuberance.

"But not until after graduation," I clarified. "I think if I move in here before then I'll never get any studying done."

"Deal!" Edward cried. His tongue darted out over his lip rings, and I just had to kiss them. He kissed me back, and then started mumbling against my mouth. "I can't wait. You being here…it just feels so right to me. I'll get better food in the fridge, too – I swear…"

I laughed and shook my head.

"I think there are a few other things we'll have to tackle," I said. "The fridge isn't my main concern."

"What is?" Edward asked, his eyes showing a little wariness.

"Telling my dad would be the main one. He still won't talk to me about you at all. After I hung up on him, he's refused all of my calls. I talked to Sue for a while, but she said she couldn't get him to talk to her about it, either."

"He hates me, doesn't he?"

"I don't think so," I lied. Then I felt bad about lying. "I mean, he hasn't given you a chance, so whatever he does feel isn't justified."

"He has seen one side of me," Edward said quietly, his blush returning. "I can understand why he wouldn't want you to be with me."

"He's not giving you the opportunity," I argued. "He's going to have to give you a chance. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Um…bikes, hanging out – the usual. You said you were busy all day."

"I am, and now you are, too. You are going to be my date to my step-mom's luncheon."

"Bella, that can't possibly be a good idea."

"Of course it is," I said definitively. "He will have to acknowledge you and be at least reasonably polite. Sue would murder him if he caused a scene at one of her luncheons."

"I don't know…"

"Please?" I asked, knowing it was a low blow to resort to begging. "I want you to be there, and Dad will get a chance to see how wonderful you are for me."

Edward furrowed his brow and looked away for a minute, then back again.

"If you think it's a good idea, I'll do it."

I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. He held me tight against him and placed soft kisses on top of my head. It wasn't going to be easy, and I wasn't deluding myself into thinking that it would be. I was going to take all kinds of flack for bringing him, even if he did put on a nice suit and shave. Dad might never forgive me, and my friends would never let me live it down. I wasn't going to pretend that I didn't care what they thought – I knew I hadn't come that far just yet. But Edward meant more to me than they did, and so whatever they were going to dish out, I was going to take – for him.

His hands ran up into my hair, and he pulled my face to his, his lips and tongue stroking my mouth, my chin, my throat. As my body began to respond to him, I noticed something I had never felt before in my life – not with any man. A sense of deep, serene calm that came over me, held me, and caressed my mind as much as Edward's hands were caressing my body. I relaxed completely back against his chest and just _felt._

"Oh…Edward…I love you."

My teeth sank into my lip, and I could feel my heart rate and breathing rise as the calm instantly disappeared and the serene feeling was replaced with horror. My hands started to shake as I tried to figure out what in the hell I had just said. I mean – I knew the words. I knew what I meant, and I knew the implications of speaking them aloud, especially after only knowing each other for eight days. He could bolt. He could bolt right now. All of this…all of this could be for nothing if he…

"Bella," Edward said, placing his hand on the side of my face and making me look at him. His fingers trailed up and down my cheek, and he gave me that cocky-shy half smile. "Get that panicked look off your face, baby. I knew how I felt about you the moment I realized I wanted to make you French toast. I knew I didn't want to just make it that morning – even that first night you were here, I knew I wanted to make you breakfast every day for the rest of forever."

His lips brushed mine softly, back and forth, the cool metal from the rings starting to feel like home as much as his arms did when he wrapped them around my waist and held me tight.

"I love you, Bella."

Tilting my head a little, I looked up into Edward's eyes, and he gave me the full-fledged, double-barrel smile that lit up my existence. Inside of my body, it felt like my insides were swelling up, like his gaze was enough to complete me. As I brought my lips back to his, I knew whatever we did face in the future, we were going to face it together. I had been so closed for so long, it felt good to finally let someone completely and totally inside again. Maybe it wouldn't be perfect, and maybe some things were going to be tough, but for once in my life, I wasn't going to do what everyone else expected. I wasn't going to do what other people thought I should. For once, I was going to do what was right for me.

Maybe I would love a little.

~~The End~~

* * *

**Chapter End notes:**

Well...probably the end. Maybe. I marking it as complete, even though I can always go un-mark it later.

Of course - there is a lot left to this story, no doubt at all it could be continued and go all kinds of directions, but it was really just supposed to be about Bella standing up to her father for the first time in her life, and Edward teaching her to live for the moment and stand on her own feet. Their relationship isn't "done," obviously, but that's all there is for now.

I do really like these characters, and Edward as split-brained has been absolutely fascinating to write. (The story Edward was telling about the man attacking his wife with one hand and defending her with the other is a true story.) It is entirely possible I will come back and write more about these two characters later - what happens at Sue's luncheon, moving in, Bella hanging out with Edward's friends and vice-versa - there are a lot of things that could happen. I know I have left everyone wanting more, and you just might get it some day! Watch my blog, where I will ramble on about what I *might* do, but also generally give a heads up on what is to come. I will be starting a new story as well, just as soon as Surviving Bella is done.

Thanks to everyone who has read and recommended this story. It's the support of everyone out there that makes writing worth while!

...

For more information on Judging Books and my other work, visit the blog at http:/shaysavage(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ -I even updated all the pages last weekend!

Follow on twitter - savage7289 - for occasional updates and babbling. Well, mostly babbling.


End file.
